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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husbands with SAHMs that prefer they work "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I don't think irony is the right concept here, but let's put that aside. You obviously feel wronged by the fact that someone thinks his/her way of raising kids is better than yours. Seriously though -- why the vitriol? Why the thin skin? If you are so confident in your choices, just agree to disagree. Seeing your responses though, I can see why you think that you wouldn't be a good primary parent. But the question isn't whether a bitter, angry, irrational person would be better than a professional daycare worker. Clearly, the professional would be better in that circumstance, so kudos to your wise (perhaps self-aware) choice. The question is whether a parent who is dedicated to being the best caregiver they can be would be better than a stranger who does it for a living. Someone earlier in the thread posited that they think the dedicated parent option is superior. That doesn't seem like such an outrageous position to take, and you (and others) just seem defensive. [b]If you prioritized money or whatever else you get out of your job over the child rearing, that's fine, but let's be honest about the tradeoffs.[/b] All of this assumes a choice in the matter, and of course, many don't have the choice for financial reasons.[/quote] I'm the poster who works and has "good enough" childcare for my kids, and believes that parent care would have been better. I ought to support you but I don't after this comment because of the bolded part. Your choice of words belies your neutrality because you clearly think that "money or whatever else you get out of your job" could not possibly be more important than childrearing. I will break it down again: it's not about "money or whatever else you get out of your job." It's the importance to the interests of family AS A WHOLE, not just childcare in isolation. Once again - I believe I would have done a better job caring for my kids than any of their preschools or nannies. Preschools and nannies have provided them with great care while mine would have been better than great. But the incremental benefit of "better than great" is not large enough to erase the benefit to the family AS A WHOLE derived from my employment. And I won't allow anyone to describe the benefit to the family AS A WHOLE in the clearly derogatory language of "money or whatever else you get out of your job" that you chose. [/quote]
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