Reply to Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]41 is pushing it - but ok.
42+ is too old.[/quote][/quote]

Complete nonsense! I had one at that age and half of his classmates have parents nearing AARP application age.

This is NOT 1965; it's 2015.

BTW, my grandmother had her last baby at 43; my uncle turns 64 in January. He's fine.[/quote]

Something is not okay just because a lot of people do it. A lot of people drink and drive or own guns or are unfaithful.  Those things aren't okay just because there are a lot of them.

Your grandmother couldn't plan her fertility the way you can. Your grandmother didn't have access to safe legal abortions, either. She didn't really have a choice about having your uncle at 43.

In 2015, women have a choice about when to have their kids. It's selfish and irresponsible to have a kid when you are over 40.  You are going to retiring just as your child gets married. You are going to be dead when your grandchildren get here.  You can't contribute much to family life beyond money if you have a kid that late. [/quote][/quote]

My dad had me at 40.  Yes, he retired a few weeks before I got married.  It was a joyous occasion and my then-fiance and I attended his retirement party.

My dad died early, and though he did live to see his first grandchild, he missed his second.  It's sad, but I've never thought "gee, I wish my dad didn't have me, because he wasn't around to see my second child."   Both of my own grandfathers died before I was born, and they had kids in their early 20's.  I'm sure it would have been nice to have them around, but you don't miss what you never had.

I will add something that you forgot.  I did have to deal with caregiving for both my father and a newborn.  Yes it was brutally difficult.  And then it was over--the baby grew and my dad died.  As difficult as it was, it was an honor and I would have gladly done it longer.  I wish his illness and death had happened even a year or two later, but we don't have that much control over life.  What got him was a very rare, exotic cancer that normally happens to much younger people.  If not for that I think he'd have made 90.  He was a healthy man.

It would pretty absurd to say that my dad contributed nothing to family life because he had me at 40.  He was my family life, and is my family even though he is gone.

Your post makes it sound horrible to be the child of an older parent, which it is absolutely not.  At worst, it's not as perfect as life might be in Utopia.  Maybe sometimes things are hard or disappointing in the moment.  But most of the things you describe as terrible are not at all.  I'm glad I was born, and while I'd have loved an extra five years with my father, I'm grateful for the 30+ I had.[/quote]

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