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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Defaulted into main breadwinner"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife complains about money constantly. She also refuses to get a job even part time. There's no excuse since the kids are school aged. She just knows working sucks and avoids it. Can't afford divorce and really know my access to the kids would be too limited for my liking. So I am biding my time and will leave the second our youngest goes to college. She won't know what hit her but that is because she is delusion and has her head stuck in the sand. I will pay a bit of alimony but I will be free at 48. I remind myself of this daily.[/quote] I agree that its ridiculous of your wife to complain about money but refuse to work even part time. You sound rather gleeful, however, about the fact that "she wont know what hit her". As someone whose father shocked my mother by leaving her as soon as my sister & I were out of the house, I can tell you that this will hurt your children, too. My sister & I understood why my father no longer wanted to be married to my mother but it was still difficult for us. With our dad gone, our mom would call us for emotional support & say horrible things about our father. We wanted to tell her to stop but didn't for a long time because she was such a mess that we were afraid of what would happen if we didn't "support" her. Young adulthood is a tumultuous time in someone's life & the drama of the divorce made it much harder for us. Many people think that once the kids are out of the house, their parents divorcing won't affect them but, trust me, it does. I'm not saying you shouldn't divorce your wife if that's what will make you happy. As difficult as my parents' divorce was, I still think my dad made the right choice & would have hated for him to live out his life in an unhappy marriage just to spare my sister & me the drama. I do, however, think you should be prepared for ho upsetting it might be for your kids, no matter how old they are. If the working/money issue is the main reason you plan on leaving her, perhaps if you warn her you will divorce her if she doesn't start contributing, she'll take your word for it & get a job rather than being emotionally & financially devastated when you leave her seemingly out of nowhere? [/quote]
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