Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I agree. And by "career" you mean high school and a small percent chance of college and the tiniest fraction of a percent beyond that.  I think that is where the problem is. Parents push these kids into this competitive dilusion of stardom. Thousands of dollars, picking the right coach, one on one lessons, getting on the elite team, making varsity at freshman. Shipping off to camps and showcases. Most kids are a dime a dozen and no amount of fine tuning will ever get you the stardom. You either have it or you don't. But parents truly feel this tension of "what if I didn't do enough?" And I bet her sister projects this anxiety back onto her son too. Those both feel it is a make/break moment in his "career" and that is the truly sad part. Kids these days no longer have fun.  They are prepped from the age of 2.  Lives scheduled meticulously and this false hope of stardom.   Coaches are high stress because the parents want the best and in their eyes the more the better.  Push, push, push. [/quote]

I've seen a lot of comments like this, claiming that there are a significant number of sports parents who are delusional idiots who think their kids are stars and will get D1 scholarships.  I think this is a myth.  I have a [u]lot[/u] of experience with travel soccer, and don't think I've met more than one or two parents who are confused about their kids' abilities by the time the kid hits high school.  You may disagree with the amount of playing time your kid gets vis a vis other kids at the margin, but it becomes obvious through the years which kids are elite at their sport and which ones are not.

And here's the thing that posters like you seem to completely miss:  a kid can feel incredibly passionate about a sport even if there is no chance she will play it in college.  For many of them, there continues to be joy in playing and improving even if they are on a second or third tier club team.  Lots of kids like this have playing in high school as their ultimate sports ambition.  This is the case for one of my kids, who loves playing just as much as my more gifted son, and has devoted nearly as much time to it as his brother.  We have supported them equally, because we love how much pleasure and learning they've gotten from their soccer experience, not to mention the great friends they and we have made along the way.  There is no doubt in my mind that both of them will be playing soccer at one level or another for the rest of their lives.  So it's all good, and it's all done for good motives.  Just a sad reality that the less gifted kid is subject to the whims of a not very good high school coach in a way that his brother will never be.

[/quote]

Um, wow. So they spend all their time playing soccer. One because he is good. Another because he wants to catch up to good brother. The reason you all have "such great" friends from the sport is because that is all you and your kids see.  And you are already pitying the not so good one and his possible sub par performance and coach?  Sheesh. [/quote]

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