Reply to Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This whole thread is so fucking stupid.  We women really can't win.

I hadn't slept with anyone in my early 20's, and neither had my roommate.  Not for religious reasons, we just hadn't (OK, she had a fundamentalist period in her life and I was raised Catholic, but we were weedy and clubby at that time, and I was a mild alcoholic to boot, and we were both intensely interested in having LTR's and boyfriends, and we didn't have any religious restrictions by that point).

You wouldn't believe the ribbing and teasing we got from our peers.  We were all single, newly graduated, with entry-level jobs and our own apartments, so yeah, we all knew everything about each other--including sexual histories.  They would consider the grief good-natured, but it got really aggravating.  I remember having lots of late-night conversations with my poor roommate, who wondered if there was something "wrong" with us.  I would remind her that it was really, really, really easy for a chick to have sex, that it wasn't a poor reflection on us per se because yeah, I could fix it in a heartbeat by going to any bar and picking up some dude that very night.

Well, she couldn't handle it anymore, and just went ahead and had a one-night stand.  Uh, actually, she slept with some "cute" guy right away, who promptly dumped her after one night, thereby turning it into a one-night stand.  The emotional fallout was pretty awful.

So, yeah, if you DON'T sleep with anyone you're a big freaking weirdo, if you DO sleep with a lot of people, you're a dirty slut.

Do what makes you happy.  I'm almost 40 now, married with kids, and there is NO CORRELATION I see with the number of partners one has had and having a happily-ever-after life.  But I do see a correlation between knowing what you want and making smart decisions and choosing a compatible person.

Stupid numbers game was started by insecure men with inferiority complexes.  It's about as dehumanizing and stupid and putting a moral value on a man just based on his salary (which we women are guilty of, btw).[/quote]

Interesting that it was your friends shaming you like that.  Females?

and again, I know people love to bash me for starting this thread - but its almost 30 pages in a just a few days.  People obviously have emotions and thoughts about it.  which is why I started it.  I don't care one iota what your numbers are or what you actually may or may not tell your daughters nor do I even think anyone should ever give a quota or a max unless its 0 until marriage.

the point was to discuss the whys about some number, an arbitrary number.  to flesh out what motivates people and why.  to see how people react.  to see how people defend certain positions.  to illustrate how various people of ostensibly the same cohort view things differently.

[b]I know some of you like to have anger towards me, but if you see my goal, which was to create this dialogue - which has happened - maybe you can appreciate this mini study into sexuality.[/b]

the real moral to this thread here is that you can do whatever you want however you want.  and some people may judge you for it and some may celebrate it.  it may or may not impact your future success.  it may or may not impact you personally.  each choice has pros and cons - i.e there is not one perfect course of action

i like thinking about our collective 'morals' as a society and to wonder where they come from.  what was the biological need they met?  how do those needs intersect with technology today? especially reproductive technology and sexual health technology.  do we overcome, evolve, what do we do?  how do we counter act 10,000's of years of evolution with change in behaviors that are relatively brand new?  what is that transition period like?

so thats why this thread exists.  and why i chose this silly exercise, to elicit a discussion.  which it did.

thank you dcum.

[/quote]

Conducting studies on people without their informed consent is deceptive and unethical.

You really are a scumbag.[/quote]

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