Reply to Bullying at NCS

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[quote=Anonymous]Ok.  Current parent, current student at NCS in the upper school.  Been at the school four years now.  It's been a good fit.  I agree that the academics can be intense, but I like that they encourage students to advocate for themselves when they struggle to keep up - and they help them when they do. The girls here often over-extend, for a variety of motives I'm sure, but sometimes just to take advantage of all there is to do here.

We have not experienced or witnessed bullying at the school.  My daughter was drawn to the culture of the school which she has experienced as warm and caring, and to the teachers who respond positively to kids who love to learn and aren't totally focused on "the grade".  The teachers are really the backbone of the school and, byandlarge, they are incredible.

That said, I find (I have older children who were not at NCS) that the adults "carry" and inform the culture of a school in the early years and that changes through the grades.  By High School there is not as much the adults can do to shape that culture.

Bottom line: if you are considering the school and concerned about bullying, go visit the school, get the "vibe" first hand. Have your daughter visit if she's old enough.  Ask your school to connect you with parents whose children went on to NCS to see what their current experience is like in their child's grade.  Visit a few schools so you can get better at noticing the differences.

If your child is being bullied (anywhere) my advise would be: take it seriously but also support them toward resiliency. Keep reaching out until you find someone who will help; a trusted teacher often knows the most effective administrator to be in contact with.  Other parents can be supportive as well - no one wants a child to suffer.

If the enviornment is truly toxic for your child, pull them, or, if you think it's possible, work to change it - if you fail, you will have at least modeled working for change under difficult circumstances.

Goodness knows assuming positive intent and communicating respectfully is in sort supply today.  Arguably, DC being the epicenter of dysfunction when it comes to "being the adult" and communicating respectfully across the differences that divide us.  Actually, we have found an oasis of sorts at NCS, as they much to instill these values in their students.  I am grateful we are here.

Just our current experience and my 2 cents worth.  Posting in hopes that it is helpful information, not to inflict pain and anyone with a different perspective.  Peace.[/quote]

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