Reply to Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it.

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Reply to "Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Me- Married almost 30 years. Didn’t take his last name (and he declined to take mine). Children survived middle and high school without embarrassment over names. I’m sure we had worse sins than our different last names. I would not respect a man who was so invested in taking away my autonomy that he insisted I change my name to his and he did nothing. If he was invested in a ‘family name’ either we both change or neither. (Unless one of us had a last name like Gross or Butts or D!ck). My kids are fine. I’ve travelled overseas with them without issues. Why are they persistent myths about this? And why does it matter to a man what his wife’s name is so much that he insists she change something fundamental to her identity yet he does nothing to on a similar level?[/quote]

Many posters here seem to be extremely insecure about their position in society and need their choices to be constantly validated by others. They see someone questioning if they're married or divorced a complete and utter tragedy. At the same time, they suffer form the main character syndrome and believe that everyone is constantly thinking about them. They don't realize that the vast majority of people is uninterested in their last names.

I'm also surprised that of all the places where workers could be confused about parents and children having different or hyphenated last names, they use immigration and travel-related agencies as examples. They constantly look at documents of people that comes from cultural backgrounds where taking your husband's name isn't the norm, not to mention that in some cultures the concept of surname as we know it doen't even exist.[/quote]

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