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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu. [/quote]

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it.  If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so.  Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be.  Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return.  Before one party has already fully checked out.  It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse?  See above post.

[/quote]

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex 
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house. 
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married. 
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way. 
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives. 
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat. [/quote]

[b]A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts. [/b]

Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex.  Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.[/quote]

Yes it is.

Explosive ManChild is not attractive. Nor marriage or parenting material.[/quote]

Right so Ops friend was not blind sided then.  [/quote]

R u still trying to pretend it’s the wife’s fault the guy was a deadweight, then a cheater, and then left his family?

Sheesh, hope you don’t have daughters or sons. [/quote]no just pointing out that ops friend couldn't possibly have been blind sided she already knew she was in a bad marriage[/quote]

DP, and first time commenting:

I bet she thought they had settled into a groove and were happy enough.

I bet she thought he was a good guy who was too decent to cheat…and perhaps assumed he was too busy and too smart to screw around and risk blowing up their family.

Regardless, it’s plausible she was blindsided. Anyone would be. [/quote]

Nah, she knew it was bad. She’d have to be oblivious not to know. The kids knew, too. A zombie, roommate marriage. She might have waited a few more years, but this was always going to end in divorce. Maybe she’s surprised he pulled the trigger, but no way she was surprised, much less blindsided.[/quote]

I have heard way too many stories in recent years of this exact thing happening and the wife being completely blindsided to believe that. I think sometimes it does happen out of the blue and that’s very hard because it’s such a betrayal of trust. These men are often not-great communicators and/or impulsive types.[/quote]

If they have stopped having sex on a regular basis then that's willful blindness.  I'm puzzled as to why people who decide that they aren't interested in marital sex any longer believe that their spouse should tolerate a sexless marriage [/quote]

They were still having sex (at least some were - I am not equally close to all). From the women’s perspective it all seemed pretty normal until the day it didn’t. From my own experience infidelity in marriage can happen even when the marriage has good regular sex. It’s no protection. (Sex is good of course but people leave for all kinds of reasons).[/quote]Yes but this thread was talking about sexless marriages.  [/quote]

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