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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Extreme resentment over mental load "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Your kids who take the SAT should be signing themselves up. You guys make your own problems.[/quote] DP. No, parents have responsibility here. A husband should be capable of knowing this and assigning himself the task. If the husband is too incompetent or cannot be asked, its on the other parent and there is a case for resentment here. The Venmo for the teacher gifts is optional. Tell the teacher your husband is too incompetent to parent and for the sake of your mental load, you needed to take responsibility for the SAT. They'll understand. [/quote] At least in my kids' classrooms, classroom arrangements, signup genius links, venmo requests, etc. are all done through a group chat via the school's app. All classroom parents are added. Emails are also sent to all classroom parents. [b]Not ONE husband responds to chats, emails, signup genius. [/b]It's 100% moms. On the class party day there's decent dad turnout, so I know they're aware. And I know the majority of moms are working moms. It's been like this since daycare! I also handle most kid admin in my house. My husband is no slouch otherwise, but there are times when I'm underwater and need help and he is completely blind to this kind of work no matter how many app notifications/emails/paperwork are sent. I have to directly ask. Yes, some of it's fluff, no one will die if we forget cookies for the teacher cookie exchange, but we DO need to get the required class shirt, recorder, contribute to group activities, pay for field trips, sign online permission slips, check grades and homework, update parental settings on devices, and on and on. I truly believe the idea that planning around children's lives is "women's work" is so pervasive, the vast majority of men will not change, even if it's subconscious and they present a flexible, equitable mindset. Do not get me started on Christmas.[/quote] This is my life Also experience only mothers organizing, planning, volunteering etc. Dads attend some events but that is it. Recently two emails went out about 1) childcare sign ups for next year and 2) parent teacher conferences. He never mentioned either. [/quote] That sucks. My husband fills out the aftercare and bus forms. I do the parent-teacher sign up but he is the one who puts the reminder in the calendar. [/quote]
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