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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know this thread is intended in jest and there are some great stories. But I am also shocked at how spineless some grown adults are! If visiting family is miserable or abusive in any way, STOP DOING IT! It's not mandatory. Many people eat Thanksgiving with only their nuclear family. You can also do that. Travel and multiple nights in an environment that makes you crazy is not neccessary. You are a grown up. Its OK to make your own tradition.[/quote]

Saying it from the perspective of someone who stepped away from the tradition to get away from the abuse: these kinds of people don’t leave you alone just because you’re “making your own tradition” or because you’re a grown up. In the fall, I can’t pickup the phone, check my texts or my emails without being berated by my elderly mother or being scolded by people she’s charged with doing her dirty work. A lot of people on her have made the calculation that a few days’ suffering is better than months of punishment.[/quote]

If the facts are on your side, this shouldn't be an issue. One or two explanations "We aren't coming because it's not an enjoyable environment." And then some concession that you can stomach "would you be interested in coming to Susie's band recital next weekend?" Or "we are available to face time at X", then you just move on.

If others come at you, again, explain calmly and without theatrics. Ask if there is a common ground they could agree to. Wish them a happy holiday and move on.

I just think so many people want the drama because to them it means family and it’s obligatory. And that is sad.[/quote]
Please start a new thread for discussing abuse. Please do not ruin this thread for people dealing with the bizarre, the ridiculous, and faintly disturbing family that is mostly just weird, funny, and inexplicable. [/quote]

Pp was on topic. Get over your need for “funny.” DP[/quote]

As my dad would say "Someone got up on the wrong side of the the bed". [/quote]

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