Reply to Be honest- what do you think about women who are content to be just wives and mothers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a SAHM who is not busy now.  Yes, I had a season or two of extreme business when my kids were little and even when they went to school - K-12.

Of course, there are other ways I am busy, but it is not a busy-ness with parental responsibility or responsibility of an employee.

Would have I liked to have more money? Absolutely. But, I do not want to give my time to earn more money. So I guess I have to make peace with that.

I am indeed living a leisurely life right now.  And I know that in future there will be periods when I will become very busy again with other family obligations etc.

I can admit honestly that being a SAHM has been far easier, fulfilling and less stressful than being a WOHM.  I loved my life as a career woman when I did not have kids. But, once my kids came along, I hated being away from them and I hated not having time.  And the guilt of leaving my kids with caregivers was enormous.

Now, when my kids are out of the house and I am in my mid 50s, do I want to go back to work? Absolutely not. We have taken steps to ensure that I will never have to work for pay. [/quote]

What are the steps? And how much did you need in assets to feel secure? What if something happened to your spouse? Current SAHM here. [/quote]

To begin with - EDUCATION - I am very well educated (multiple degrees in STEM) and can get at least an average entry level job if I need to or even become a public school teacher.

SAVED MONEY, LOW COL - I saved every penny that I could when I was working.  Paid off all student debt in the first two years of working. Saved and lived on one salary after marriage.  Essentially, we lived below our means. We also bought a  house that we liked in a low cost neighborhood. Our biggest cost savers were (through luck and choices) - affordable real estate, no childcare cost,  no private school, no tutoring cost,  no student debt etc.

HEAVILY INSURED, JOINT ASSETS - All assets are held jointly. No prenups.  I am aware of financial details and participate in it. We were heavily insured with multiple insurances that would not require me to ever work if something happened to my DH and I would still be able to educate my kids and get them married and have money to live well. We staggered the coverage by buying term life insurance in such a manner that we could selectively drop the insurance as we came closer to retirement/pension years.

How much do you need in assets?  You need to crunch the numbers.   The fear that something would happen to my DH was a huge fear and until my kids became older and out of college, this fear remained in my heart.    I am however a person who plans a lot. So it was necessary for me to come up with a number that would remove my fear. And we knew that we did not have the savings and earnings to meet the $$ amount in the present day, so our option was - life insurance.  Yes, it cost us a pretty penny but it gave us a lot of confidence to go on with our decisions to have a SAH parent and not jeopardize our financial well being.  My DH made sure that I would never have to work if something happened to him.  His job is fairly secure and has a very generous pension plan too. So that was also something that helped us to come up with a number.  We only needed coverage for a certain number of years after that his pension and benefits would come to me.

We calculated mortgage, house repairs, cost of replacing major components of the house, new cars, medical insurance, cost of college and grad school (75K per year, per kid), cost of the kids weddings, medical care, cost of running the home with help,  and the money needed to maintain a good lifestyle.  And all of this was needed for only a certain number of years. Once those years had come and gone, we let some of the insurance coverage lapse. Actually, some years left me feeling more vulnerable and we were constantly assessing our needs. We were lucky that our kids did not need any kind of intervention. 
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