Reply to I think I’m going to have to contact my husband’s affair partner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Women have got to stop shaming other women for staying. This leads to a vicious cycle where people don't talk about infidelity, which means that we don't understand how common it is for long marriages to experience it. This ignorance of how many people face it (with a good number of them overcoming it) leads to more shaming, etc.

Once you've been cheated on, you're making your least bad choice out of bad choices. You need empathy and space to make the best decision for you. I'm a PP who shared on here that I asked both my best friend and my sister if they thought I was being crazy to stay. People who know and support me said no, my husband was still a good man and they thought we could do it.

This is a free internet forum and the advice varies greatly in worth, or lack thereof. [/quote]

Thanks for this.  I so agree.  I suffer in silence  due to the shame and fear of judgement about being betrayed.  I didn’t tell anyone in my family or any friends.  The two people I did tell I was very close too but now I’m so embarrassed that I basically have no contact with them anymore and it is such a loss of a relationship.  They were very very close to us and our kids. The whole thing ruined a relationship.

The entire experience made me pull back from socializing and lose a lot of connections and people have no idea why.  I am not a liar and keeping this inside makes it hard for me to be around people as I feel I’m “faking”. But I also don’t want the gossip and judgement that is associated with this.

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