Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The women who never leave must either be afraid of having to downsize to a one bedroom and accept change or they really think their cheating spouse is a prize package worth the agony. [/quote]

As I've become older I've seen many situations. Finances, special needs kids, and health problem to name a few.

Many disengage and merely view the cheater as a pay check going forward. The cheater usually cheats themselves the most from what I've observed. [/quote]

Does it all just really come down to money then? If you handed one of these women a couple million, do you think they'd still bail? [/quote]

NP.  I would assume that if the cheated on wife had all the money she wants, why would she stay on with a cheating husband?  Company isn't there anyway since he's off with someone else anyway.  Question is why would cheater stay with the wife if it isn't for money.[/quote]

Fear? Of being alone, of the wrath of the wife and families? I mean, it takes guts on sone level to tell someone you’re done with a relationship and leave that person for someone else. And go through the divorce process which is grueling for most. As a PP said, it’s a cake and eat it too situation. I get the satisfying side piece and avoid the embarrassing fallout. The mistress is the drug habit that keeps them from facing their true misery. [/quote]

I mean if you cheat, you're not concerned with your wife anyway.  Why not go find someone else?  Is there a fallout from divorce that can't be changed over time?  It just seems like inertia/laziness.  [/quote]

Some of it might be inertia and laziness. It's a lot of work to upend your family's life and build new. I think a lot of it is financial though. Celebrities have a high divorce rate because they can easily afford to say to heck with this, and each person goes off into separate fully staffed mansions and splits the ginormous net worth. [/quote]

Agreed.  I think a lot of this is convenience for them/him.  So it's selfish twice over:  once for cheating and then for keeping it a secret because it's not the right time for him to seek a divorce.  I think it becomes quite apparent that these people are just selfish people.  I do feel bad for the wife because she's going to be surprised when he'll want a divorce when it's convenient for him.  By this time, she will have lost so much of her time with a selfish jerk like him.

He's so strident about his cheating and unapologetically selfish about his actions.  I don't think it's worth engaging with him anymore.  I don't think he has it in him to do the right thing.  It's too bad really, especially for his wife.[/quote]

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