Reply to WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who was the target of horrible bullying I find it terrible advice of posters to advise that OP’s daughter will learn from this experience, will be stronger, should have a stiff upper lip.

This kind of social alienation, isolation and shaming is horrible.  Telling someone to get over it, in the future you will laugh about it, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, is the opposite of helpful.  Because the victim is then double shamed, because you’re still upset and not feeling any better the next day or next week and think “what’s wrong with me, why am I still upset, I should have been over this by now, a normal person would I have moved on but I can’t....”

Nip this in the bud OP.  This won’t be the last time these girls pull this crap on your DD, if they think they can get away with it they will keep doing it.  And your DD will feel worse,,every single day she has to go to school and see them.  Every day.  Call the coach, pick up the phone and call.  Tonight.  I send a virtual hug to your DD,,because bullying is just awful.[/quote]

+100
As the mother of a child who through MS didn't want to "get the coach mad at me" or "make waves" or "if you tell the teacher she won't understand" but was the target of cruel bullying, she is now dealing with anxiety (9th grade) because we switched schools (due to said bullying) and for the most part the students are very nice but she doesn't trust the nice ones not to "turn" on her. She's having trouble forming close friendships, something she never had trouble with in the past. In MS she never wanted to confront anyone, asked us not to call teachers (even though we did), and wanted to give the benefit of the doubt to most of the bullies. I'm thinking that might be why your DD was targeted---she's level-headed, strong and mature. But the bully effects WILL catch up with her. Because she'll remember that people can be so mean even if she is kind. Keep a close eye on her, call these bullies out how you see fit, and get her around other teammates. Best of luck. I'm so sorry you're going through this. [/quote]

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