Reply to WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m going to add another perspective as a former div 1 athlete - is this a competitive group with hopes of athletic scholarship? If so, you need to know that kids AND parents are capable of some very competitive and even despicable behavior when hopes of athletic glory are involved. Parents who arrange a meeting with a star athlete do not sound like casual people and I wouldn’t put it past parents knowing what happened or turning a blind eye if it mean eliminating competition (hoping your daughter might drop from the team).

If this is the case, I’d say your daughter should focus on what she wants in her sport and in friendship (sounds like she already has a handle on friendship part) and act accordingly. Don’t quit if she likes the sport and wants to continue.  In 3 years the girls will go their separate ways anyway. Keep in mind coaches prefer stable personalities and are wary of decisive types. They also talk amongst themselves. Your friend who is out of the blue asking to “catch up” may be offering support (though in my book a “hey I heard about what happened and I’m sorry - we talked to our DD about how wrong that was - want to catch up” would have actually shown direct support)...or she may be sussing out your plans or wanting to discourage you from going to coach. Having this on record for her daughter does not look good to future coaches. It would give the team a bad image (which frankly it deserves) and I’m sure some parents are worried about that.

Personally, I would not share any info with any of these parents - (I wouldn’t get to gether to chat now.). If you do go, I’d be noncommittal about it all (DD doesn’t want to do anything). I’d want to share the situation somehow with the coach or a club coach sometime though even if after the season. They should know. Very weird they weren’t included in meet-Greet

Good luck - people can be such jerks. Good people, too - you just have to find them. Life lessons...

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