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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm so skinny postpartum because I abuse drugs. At least I don't lie outright and pretend I work out or eat well. I just say, "I haven't had an appetite since the baby was born" which is true.[/quote]

Nice. What's your drug/s of choice?[/quote]

Small doses of opiates + benzos + nicotine (vape in private). I make sure my DH, a grandparent, or a babysitter is "on duty" when I dose. I'm not a monster, just a person trying to get through day by day. It started because I had leftover opiates from my postpartum pain when the PPD kicked in. Instead of sobbing every evening like clockwork, I took a pill and actually enjoyed the evening grind - loving on my baby, tidying the house, prepping bottles, engaging with DH, dealing better with night wakings. I'm not under any illusions that I'm not headed for rehab or a breakdown. But for now, I'm working FT and being the best mom I can be. And I have to force myself to eat, yes. Please don't assume I'm glorifying this. I'm a train wreck inside.[/quote]
Please get some counseling or other type of help asap. The longer it goes, the more difficult it will be to stop.

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