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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it possible to teach the kids to drink responsible? Is you are going to do it (most teenagers do it) don't drive under any circumstances. Similarly that using protection if you are going to,have sex. [/quote]

This was/is my approach with my 20 year old son. In addition to making sure he knows I will come get him under any circumstances no questions asked, I also make sure he has uber money for his out of state college. I don't think he is above the law or should drink, but he is entering his junior year of college and it's not practical or logical to just say no at this point. I don't think my son would ever drink and drive, but it's like that dateline program where the 4 years old went with the stranger who told them there was a lost puppy- all the preschool parents said "not my kid" and most the kids in the testing sample took off with the guy. Parenting a 18-21 year old inst easy, and those who haven't done it yet should hold judgement. [/quote]

Does he drink at home?[/quote]

No. He and his friends come to our house to eat and socialize (we have always been the welcoming, open kool aid house) and I always cook for them and have age appropriate munchies. We have a piano and guitars, they eat, play music, play video games then go "out."  With "people." I get no more information than that, even though I am fairly close not just to my son with but with his friends as well. I ask him to text me if he is staying the night at someones home or apartment so I don't worry (which he does 90% of the time.) He has a car. I would say about 1/2 the time they go "out" with "people" he comes back home, and about 1/2 the time he rolls in about 11 AM after having already slept somewhere. He is taking summer college classes, as well as interning in a major appropriate business 3 days a week, and he has never not made Deans List, so I would classify him as a good kid. I know he has also tried Molly, and that he does drink, but never at home. He has a very wide circle of friends and is very social. I could wake up being Sam Ellis's mom someday, but any of us could. There but for the grace of god go any of our children. I'm sure Sams mother loves Sam as much as you love your child. There are no easy answers and by backing your almost adult or adult age child into a corner of compliance you aren't allowing them to become adults. We need to talk about ways to keep them safe in the real world. To be honest, though, I don't know if I would let a daughter have the freedom my son has. It's not fair, but it's a different and scarier world out there for girls. [/quote]

My sons (19 and 22) are similar to this PP. We do our best to emphasize moderation and being responsible -- no drinking and driving, take an Uber home or sleep at a friends' house if drinking, also the importance of making good choices with sex, especially if drinking is involved. It isn't easy. Our kids are "good kids" but even good kids make errors in judgment sometimes.[/quote]

So, the solution is to let your kids drink at underage parties and train them to call Uber or a parent?[/quote]

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