Reply to Defaulted into main breadwinner

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Defaulted into main breadwinner"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]My number one red flag was when a man assumed I'd birth his children for him. Who does he think he is?

On a side note, I've said the same thing to men because I know I will be so attached to a baby and feel awful leaving a six week old at a daycare. It has less to do with me and more with the baby. I didn't want to marry a man and have children with someone who couldn't sacrifice financially so that I could be there for our children. I will probably work as I have a great career but I want that option. I didn't want to marry someone who expects me to have two full time jobs and while they have one. If working with young kids were to be a requirement, I would most likely decide not to have kids.[/quote]

PP, you are so, so not smart about things. Yes, an expectation that your partner will financially contribute is reasonable. But what isn't reasonable is an expectation that you don't have to contribute to your family's financial well-being. I have age on my side (I imagine a lot of you are younger 30-40 somethings), but I am going to describe to you a really sad reality four of my good girlfriends are dealing with right now.

They all made the choice to SAHM with their husband's "support." But in reality, their marriages weren't strong enough to survive and they are utterly, utterly screwed. Alimony only runs so long and those kids all went to college so there's no support. And they are stuck.

These were smart women! Women who knew better and thought the world was full of choices, but sadly it isn't. I feel for the OP because I think deep down inside that is what imploded some of my friends' marriages -- an expectation that they would be financially taken care of and had no role in solving financial problems (like layoffs) when they arise. It's sad, but I support my friends rebuilding themselves.

Listen, I have daughters. And I've made it clear to them that they need to plan on working or finding some sort of way to keep their careers going even if they have kids. Because the SAHM thing can breed entitlement and resentment and unless it's an open agreement, it's just a bad idea.[/quote]

This is a great post. I've seen it happen myself. I also agree that some SAHMs seem entitled. I'm not sure where it was written that the man has to slog off to work while the woman stays home with the kids.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics