Reply to When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage

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Reply to "When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sex is a basic biological need.  Both spouses need to provide that to each other. There are many DHs with no/low libido on this forum.  I feel that a person is failing their marital duty  if they are not a sexual partner.

Except for illness and medical condition that prevents full sexual relations between spouses, there is no excuse for not having sex. You can use alternate means to bring sexual relief to your partner, in most dire situations as well. [/quote]

I am not sure that sex is a biological need for everyone.  So I do not agree with your assumption.  But, in your opinion, sex is the only thing that matters to you.  See how narrow minded that sounds.   What about raising a family, building a home, having fun, traveling, being close, etc... Is there nothing equally important in your life?[/quote][/quote]

Of course, there are many important things in everyone's life.  And one important thing is also sexual closeness between spouses.  Now, if your sex drive matches your spouses then there is no problem.  So, if you and your spouse both have low, no or high sex-drive, then it is great.  However, a very important aspect of most marriages is sex between partners.  If you do not think that sex in marriage is important, you should marry a man who thinks exactly like you.

Otherwise, it is bait and switch.

And before you start accusing me of being a man - I am the DW who wrote about my rampant libido, I wrote about finding pleasure in sex and this post about sex being a basic biological need.  You are trying to make this about how men and women think differently about sex.  You are attacking any female who is saying that they like sex.

In truth, your position is that of a spouse who is unhappy in your marriage and you cannot even begin to believe that perhaps some of the problem lies with your attitude about marital sex. 
[/quote]

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