Reply to I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?

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Reply to "I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.[/quote]

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?[/quote]

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks. [/quote]

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it. [/quote]

I think this comment is kind of accidentally revealing of why some women can be very pushy in ways that are aggravating or even harmful to other people. It just sounds like you internalized the #girlboss stereotype as how women are supposed to behave. Where do you get the idea that all women are encouraged to be "assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types"? Or that the only way to have a positive impact on the world is to be like this? It's not true.

Did you know the woman who originated the concept of "girlboss" (founder of the Nasty Gal website) was later sued for discriminating against female employees who went on maternity leave? The founder of Thinx period underwear was sued for sexual harassment by a female employee who accused the founder of touching her breasts without consent and undressing in front of staff. These women were both lauded for being assertive take-charge types who I'm sure thought they were having a positive impact on the world. Like plenty of male founders, though, they were blinded by their own ambition and took that "assertiveness" too far.[/quote]

Oh no, the women in your local PTA discriminated against new moms, and fondled boobs without consent?

Thank you for those two cherry-picked examples of women in power behaving badly. That was really useful anecdata.

You know what, PP? You’re right. Let’s tell our daughters to keep their mouths shut, put their hands down, and focus on being well-liked, at all times, by everybody. Wouldn’t want to trigger an insecure woman into calling them pushy! That would simply end their world. [/quote]

I don't have anything bad to say about PTA women but I have worked for a woman who was like this -- pushy to the point of causing harm, in the name of being a "girl boss." It sucked, and she treated women worse than men.

So these women exist and are harmful. I don't know why you are so married to the idea that they don't. There are of course powerful women who use their power and assertiveness in positive ways. But just like with men, some don't and many of us would like to avoid them. Why is that so hard to accept?[/quote]

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