Reply to Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does every DH have to be the main parent. You're the main parent, OP. Just do the parenting and let him do the 1billion other things that also have to get done to run a family.[/quote]

I know people are bristling at this.  But honestly, as a strategy it worked really well in my family.  I did nothing but kid stuff and my spouse did everything else except that spouse did childcare drop off and pick up because my commute was longer.  We had very little conflict because we each did our part to make the family work.  And we were both pretty happy about it.  I can't remember the last time I did yard work (besides my garden), took the car for service or an oil change, found a plumber, washed a car, cleaned my house and whatever other billion things it takes to keep a house running successfully.  Even though my kids are grown, I still don't do these things.  My spouse wasn't a bad parent, but wasn't a good caretaker until they got a lot older.  The difference between me and OP is that I could count on my spouse in emergencies.  [/quote]

How did your kids feel about that? I'm glad your situation worked out for you, but I can't imagine having only one parent doing the parenting.[/quote]

It worked out well. We lived (and still do) in a conflict free home where everyone loved each other and everyone did their part to make our lives work. The kids knew who to ask for whatever they wanted/needed.

Also just because I took care of school, medical, and all of that stuff doesn’t mean my both didn’t do the fun stuff with the kids. We’re both pretty fun parents and neither was unreasonable stressed because we weee doing what we were good at. A win all around d. [/quote]

I’m sure it was a win for your DH who got more leisure time daily than you … [/quote]

PP listed a bunch of other things her DH did. When do you think that got done? During the work day?[/quote]

DP
My DH felt like he was doing so so much by cooking dinner every night when DD was a newborn and expected constant gratitude from me. He just didn't notice that I had DD physically attached to me for 12 hours a day and never once cleaned our small apartment.

If PP's DH is doing drop off and pickup AND cleaning the house AND cooking AND he also does fun things with them on weekends then I can see that being reasonably equitable. That is a lot and that DH is also doing a fair amount of child related stuff. Having one parent do absolutely nothing child related with 2 young children is not going to be remotely equitable because parenting young children is relentless work.[/quote]

This is why I didn’t go back to work. I knew my husband wasn’t going to do 50/50 and I’d be a sucker working and doing all the rearing. So I quit and it’s worked for us for 18 years.[/quote]

You quit your job because your husband doesn't value you... Glad that worked for you I guess. [/quote]
 
But you don’t see me whining to strangers on the internet that my husband is pathetic.[/quote]

Lady you sound much more angry and unhinged than OP does.[/quote]

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