Reply to Neither AC wants kids. I can't help feeling like I failed.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD has said she was a teen that she didn't want kids. Ha-ha ok you will change your mind is what everyone always told her. No, she's never wavered. She's in her late 20s and has been married for 3 years now (with her husband for 8 years total). She just told me that she found a doctor who was willing to do a tubal ligation so she could be done with birth control. It felt like a gut punch when she told me.

DS is in his early 30s and is getting married this fall. He's been with his fiancée for 4 years and they too have told us they have zero desire for kids. I thought for sure they would have kids as she's an elementary teacher and works at a kids camp in the summer.

How do I get over these feelings of failure? I know I raised great kids but at the same time, I feel like both are being selfish and it makes me angry. Is this something therapy helps with? 
[/quote]

Are you a Trump voter?[/quote]
How lame, passive-aggressive commenter. She wants to be a grandmother. This is NOT an abnormal feeling for middle to senior age women. OP, yes therapy may help you with your feelings and you may discover it's [b]something deeper[/b].[/quote]

Like 'maternal instinct' or 'human nature'?
It's a waste of money just to have a therapist tell that to you.[/quote]

Women in the west have more choice than ever.  You see that by looking at how western women choose different careers than women in the more repressive societies.  Iran has more women in STEM, for instance.

Some women are finding they don't have that "something deeper" driving them to have kids, and that's OK.  Now whether it's a good idea to let people vote when they don't have the same investment in the future is another question, but it is one that ultimately solves itself after a few generations.  [/quote]

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