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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

[/quote]

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips. 
[b]I'm so jealous. [/b]
They really have the perfect set up. [/quote]

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

[b]I'm. So. Jealous. [/b]

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).  
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.  
2.  Those who feel bitter & resentful because [i]they'll[/i] never receive those same privileges [i]AND[/i] 
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself. [/quote]

Exactly. It's so transparent.  Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into.  The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic[/quote]

I don’t think OP is seething.  It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck.  My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all.  People without purpose pick up bad habits.  [/quote]

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family.  There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for.  And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.  [/quote]

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

[/quote]

So you and your spouse went to Lehigh and Kenyon and now you are a fed and SAHM and you are proud you can take risks like have a SAH parent and a nanny. You are good at your low stress job because it’s so non core to the agency’s mission that no one cares if you have 13 typos in a PPT with six slides. And you drive a Subaru because you are responsible you don’t need to be flashy with all the money you didn’t earn. And you’ve never even been fired or arrested (except for that DWI when you were 27 but that was a mistake and you got out of it because you’re such a great person who also has lots of connections). Wow. You are doing so well. You’ve really made it! [/quote]

Not the PP but why are you so incredibly bitter and angry? Is it because no one is impressed by your striving and it irritates you that you've worked so damn hard and yet have achieved the same things in life, ultimately, as the easy, chilled out old money trust fund kid who coasted through Choate and went to a liberal arts college?  And no matter how much you and your big law spouse have white knuckled everything, worked nights, and pushed and prodded and forced your way into spaces, you'll never be taken as seriously or accepted in the way the PP who grew up in that world will be?  It's so very bad and bitter.  This is why no one wants to be around you [/quote]

Not even close. I’ve got your number because you are cut from the same ordinary cloth as every other nepo baby - with a few exceptions (my husband). I went to PE and Harvard and was in a finals club. I made something of myself because I’m not a fratty, chill (is chill your euphemism for stupid because if you went to Choate it was 100% due to legacy but legacy and money couldn’t get you into a better college so you must not come from a family with that much money and you must be very chill), super bro obsessing about the definition of old money and trying to keep up appearances. You don’t know how to work hard and win. I know it and you know it too. [/quote]

Aw, someone went to Harvard and is still bitter because they got excluded :( And still ranting, enraged, and deranged sounding all because some old money snobs excluded them from their group.  It's funny because a lot of the new money types who marry in have exactly this chip on their shoulder- they know they wont ever be truly accepted, and that theyre looked down on by their partner's school friends, so they fixate and stew and become even more militant and resentful with every boarding school reunion they have to go to.  And they justify their bitterness and hatred based on some kind of capitalistic "I pulled myself up by my bootstraps" rhetoric that's actually so pedestrian and plebeian, and extremely middle American. And it enrages them that even with allllll that work, and all that sweat, they'll never ever reach the same levels as the person who got lucky and was born in it.  Pretty funny actually. [/quote]

So, at what point is new money, old money.  The wealthiest people on the planet have made all their money in the last 40 years.  It dwarfs any "old money" fortunes.

Do you think the tech titans, hedge fund titans, P/E titans, etc. are sitting around wishing they were as lucky as the folks that are worth a fraction of their wealth?[/quote]

Actually Elon Musk inherited his money and got his start from his father- they're an old South African mining family. Trump also got his start from his wealthy parents. Bill Gates grew up wealthy. Actually a very large portion of the wealthiest people inherited some or a good amount of their wealth.  And yeah, the tech and hedge fund titans are sitting around scheming about how to get into the clubs, neighborhoods, and universities that these old families still run... trying to copy them, trying to dress like them, trying to pass themselves off as one of them.  [/quote]

The story on Elon Mush is completely fabricated.  His dad made all that up.

Bill Gates' dad was a lawyer who did well and I gather is the definition of the striver in DCUMland.  He didn't inherit squat from his dad, mainly because he was worth 1000x more than his dad at like 25.

Sure, even though Stephen Schwarzman essentially owns Yale...what old money family is secretly actually controlling it?

[/quote]

It doesnt take away from the fact that many of these men inherited wealth.  And old money families still control the eating clubs, the social groups and dynamics, etc. Both at the elite universities and afterwards, of course. [/quote]

Well, the fact that many of these men did not inherit wealth, does in fact take away from that non-fact.

Stephen Schwarzman went to public school in Queens...Larry Ellison grew up in South Chicago...Jeff Bezos went to public school in NM and Florida (and his stepdad did invest some money in Amazon alongside major VC investors)...Mark Zuckerberg and Sam Altman had UMC upbringings, but no old money, family money.

The selective Princeton Eating Clubs where you have to bicker don't care if your money is old or new...they just care you have a ton of it.  There aren't enough old money descendants attending at any one point in time for the club to survive.

Curious who is in this "old money" club...you have to be Vanderbilt or Rockefeller or Dow or Dupont, etc. in order to control these universities and clubs because you had to lay your hooks in the 19th century.[/quote]

Actually random anecdotes don't take away from that fact... and as someone else pointed out, Bill comes from old money stock. The handful of names you mentioned hardly take away from the existence of the myriad of old money families that make up the fabric of real wealth in this country.

Of course the Princeton Eating Clubs care, as do the Yale societies.  In every venerated institution in America, the old guard still holds a huge amount of sway, often behind the scenes, blocking out contenders who dont fit the bill, occasionally giving their blessing to new money strivers who happen to rub them the right way (or who are willing to lavish enough cash on them to make it worth their while)

Again, there are plenty of private members of the old money guard that you've probably never heard of, living in- Oh my God!- Chevy Chase. That's what you find so irritating- many of these old money people are living thriving, relatively quiet lives, having a job that fulfills their passion or just is calm and peaceful, rather than rabidly chasing cash the way the strivers have to.  And there's nothing you can do about it  :) [/quote]

Well here is the background of the 500 wealthiest families in the country:  https://www.forbes.com/sites/gigizamora/2023/10/03/the-2023-forbes-400-self-made-score-from-silver-spooners-to-bootstrappers/

Even the ones that are listed as "inheriting a fortune" are people like the Walton family...which again, not sure how a fortune derived from Walmart is old money.

Every argument you make doesn't even rise to the level of an anecdote.  You don't have even have those.[/quote]

Thanks for proving my point by linking this article, where most of the people didn't "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" but came from, at the minimum, an upper middle class background.
But anyway, not sure why you're so fixated on the Forbes 400. There are plenty of old money people with plenty of cash, living comfortable lives with millions in their trust fund, and quiet lives in their Connecticut or- OMG- Chevy Chase large home.  People who are private and would never want to be featured in Forbes or elsewhere.  Just because you will never be invited inside their world doesnt take away from its existence.  Maybe that's what irritates you so much about having to see them everyday.  A reminder of what you'll never be.[/quote]

NP here and there's only one way to settle this: DCUM pools together $50M to give to me and we'll see how far I can get with with my new money status.[/quote]

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