Reply to Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]O [b]they realize a marriage with a white chick won't last if they constantly act like it's my way or the highway.[/b]

[/quote]

x1000. Many Americans women don't realize how good they have it with American men. The kind of treatment you get from an American man, in most of South Asia or Africa, you will never be treated in an equal manner the way an American man will treat you. And despite this most marriages end up failing. I am always amazed when I see the guys here doing stuff like grocery shopping, chores at home, etc. , as an African woman I am envious. [/quote]

Funny you say this because my parents immigrated from India in the 70s - same deal, wife does EVERYTHING. I remember being a kid in the 90s and my mom STILL being mystified because she went to the grocery store on a Saturday morning and there were so many MEN there doing full cartloads of shopping for the family and some men even brought the 4 year old along. LOL to her that was the most AMAZING thing because to most Indian guys who immigrated back then and brought over an Indian wife going to the grocery store is something you did once in a year as a "favor" to your wife because you were out of milk and desperately needed another gallon and she couldn't get to the store; and even then that "favor" was very much remembered as he'd later be like - uh make sure you get enough milk for our child next time. Because making sure his child had enough to eat was not dad's problem.[/quote]

Wow!! No one in my vast Indian community in this area is married to such an Indian man. I wonder if it is actually a SES issue rather than the issue of a group?  People who came from well educated and fairly prosperous families in India have a very different mindset.

I immigrated in 1990's.  My DH has always done more than me at home, regardless of when I was a WOHM or a SAHM. I have always paid very well to get domestic help - cleaners, landscapers, [b]cooks [/b]- even on very modest salary.  The reason is that DH and I have heavily prioritized our time spent with our children and essentially we are buying our time back when we outsource time consuming domestic chores. 
[/quote]

You hired cooks in the US on a modest salary? How did you manage that?[/quote]

There are Indian people who will come to your house and cook food for you for a reasonable amount of money. You can also order and pick up food by weight from many home cooks at very reasonable price. It is an informal market system. Ask around. This is not advertised. The menu options are very limited and mainly vegetarian food.

You could be picking up daal, roti, vegetable entree etc.  Food is made with less oil, less spices and made fresh every day. You need to pre-order and agree to a pick up time.  Over the years, you actually form a social relationship with them.

We used to hire a person who worked in a restaurant for several hours on the weekend who would cook food in bulk.  Some of the food can be frozen also.  We used to split the  food, material  and labor cost with 4 other families. This was during the time when our salary was quite modest.

Now, this same person comes to our house once a month instead of every week.  She cooks food for dinner parties of 20-30 people at a time, and there is enough food left over for me to share with some other families. Also, we do have leftovers for our guests to take home.

Currently cost of cooks and helpers is running from $25 -$45/hour. These include cooks, servers and bartenders. They help out in home parties.  Minimum of 4-6 hours each. Ask around. These are not advertised.

Another source of home cooked, vegetarian food is your  local Hindu temple and they will cater for religious events. There are also  local Indian restaurant/caterer who specialize in vegetarian food. They sell by tray size or weight.

Finally,  for ordering smaller quantities (for a family of 5 for example) on a day to day basis, you can try out SHEF.COM.

There are other informal ways to get a home cooked meal on the table, including sharing entrees with friends.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics