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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How many millennial men are willing & able to (a) be the sole provider so their wives can SAHM, or (b) take on 50% of house and kid responsibilities so their wives can also have a career?  I guess option (c) is the men can SAHD but very few women are actually interested in that setup.  There is your answer.  [/quote]

Yeah it’s this.

I wonder if, in the future, we’ll see two tracks. If you want kids as a woman, you’ll marry a high earner and SAHM. If you are ambivalent, you’ll keep working and be DINKS.

The happiest moms I know (including myself in here) are SAHMs to 3-4 kids and are married to high earning, golden retriever type husbands who adore their wives and genuinely seem to believe aphorisms like “happy wife, happy life.” They have money to hire help, local family, and time to devote to hobbies and friends. The women all have college degrees, some have advanced degrees, and worked for at least 8-10 years before kids. Most worked until the birth of their second kid. So they understand what it’s like to do both and voluntarily opted out because they could.

Money in this scenario = flexibility and choice.[/quote]

The problem with this is that there are not enough high earning men (let alone good ones who openly “adore” their wives) to meet the demand of women who want kids.[/quote]

Sadly, this is true. If you don't meet them in college or soon afterwards, they get snapped up. [/quote]

+1.  People here like to pretend that partnering up in or right after college is for flyover plebes, but if you want kids and you want to at least have the option to SAH or go PT after kids, it is smart to lock down a nice guy with potential early.  If you wait too much later to get serious about finding a spouse, all the good ones are already off the market, and the rest of the high earners are players who want to date younger and/or not settle down anytime soon. [/quote]

+1. Very few of these nice guys with potential are divorced now that we are all getting close to retirement age. These guys are totally committed to their marriages and children. Often their parents were excellent role models in that regard. [/quote]

LOL. Waited til I was 30. Quite a few guys whose starter marriages didn’t work out became available. And the ones who figured out the first marriage failed because they were lazy and unhelpful vowed to do better this time.[/quote]

Those were the losers. The ones that didn’t get divorced are the keepers. [/quote]

That’s a ridiculous statement.

I’ve worked in elder care for the last decade, mostly with hospice status patients. It’s interesting how much my patients will unburden themselves to me, they need someone to listen to their lifelong disappointments and don’t want to burden their kids or grandkids. All I can tell you is that there are many women (probably some men, but IME mostly women) who have been unhappily married for many decades and who lament that truth in the final years/months/days of their lives.

Just because an early marriage lasts 50, 60 or 70+ years doesn’t mean it was a successful or happy marriage. Some people make their own prisons and stay in them until death even though they have the power to set themselves free. [/quote]

No, it's not. We're talking about the good guys here. [/quote]

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