Reply to Holding my boundary. Let him be mad.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Things of note:
-I would never quit my job. For one, I like making my own money. I would never make myself financial dependent on a man. Also, I have carried the health benefits for our family for the last 6 years. And I don’t trust my husband in terms of job stability 
-Guess what I also often do on my “sat am free time”…other than working out for an hour and maybe reading for 30min or so. Grocery shopping. Trader Joe’s. Amazon returns to the ups store. Target runs for earth day items for dd’s school. Aka things for my f-ing family that aren’t even on dh’s radar or he assumes/expects that I will handle. Because I always have.
- I didn’t throw a tantrum or yell in front of dd. I literally said: “excited to play with you all afternoon after your nap” I told my dh: “you got nap and lunch” it was my dh who said “me? Why would I do it?” And I said why wouldn’t you. What did I do after dd got up from her nap? Took her to the museum, had a wonderful day. What did dh do? Pack for his work trip, leave the house for a few hours, and didn’t see dd for the rest of the day. He left in the morning for a week long trip. And didn’t see dd after giving her lunch and putting her down for nap.  Dd woke up asking where daddy was. I said he went on an airplane for work and will come back. “Why didn’t he kiss me goodnight?”  Now talk to me about parental engagement and involvement.
- as he packed, I told dh I was sorry his feelings were hurt but that I needed to talk to him about what happened. His reply “I vented and I think I’m good now.” He has texted me from his work trip as if nothing happened. Sending pictures of meals at restaurants and telling me about the weather. Literally as if nothing happened.

I haven’t left bc I think custody wouid be a nightmare and the finances of two homes an even bigger one. 
[/quote]

You're not wrong. But it's interesting that you think nothing of telling your kid it's not your turn for lunch and nap and you'll see here when it's your shift. And then you criticize your husband for not kissing her goodnight on your shift. You can't have it both ways. Maybe she was sad you didn't want to see her either?[/quote]

Are you being deliberately stupid? the DH left FOR A WEEK without saying goodbye to his DD. The OP told her DH to honor their agreement for a couple of hours. In NO WAY is this the same thing.

Idiot.[/quote]

DP. But the schedule has OP in charge of bed time on Saturdays. That's the way they set it up. I think it's weird but it is what it is. So I think you're being a bit hypocritical about how one spouse should follow the rules to a T but then also bend them in the same day.[/quote]

Your so stuck on being right that you don’t see a difference between OP a having to drop everything she is doing to make and feed kid lunch, put her down for nap, etc. on her time, and dad just taking 5 min to pop into bed at night to give his kid a quick hug, kiss, and snuggle while mom is still doing the “active/work” bedtime stuff? [/quote]

It's your. And I'm a DP, as I stated. And you're missing the point, but that's ok. [/quote
Yeah, saw my error when I posted. Figured everyone would pick up on an autocorrect, decided it wasn’t worth my time or Jeff’s to correct it. Thanks for being pedantic enough to miss a point but pick up on the spelling/ grammar.m

Maybe you’re missing the point. Unlike you, I’m not sure it’s okay, but I think posters like you are really enjoying yet again beating a woman into not being able to feel the way she does, even though it’s completely justified. She’s doing something you can’t or won’t, which is standing up for herself as a separate human from her husband and child.

These boards make me understand more and more every day why my mother sat me down, probably at the age of 9, and said “you will always hate being a woman”. It’s proven here every day. You’re either branded a martyr or a selfish b*7+ch. There is no room for anything other than the prescribed outcome, and it really makes it awful for women who experience anything that deviates from whatever the arbitrary rules are. [/quote]

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