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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a tough thread to read - i can sense the frustration in many of the responses.  
We could not afford $80k per year (we saved enough to swing $60k per year) but still encouraged our child to apply wherever their stats might lead to a good chance of admission (sat 1560 gpa 4/4.8 etc). We did however insist that he apply in state and to several lower tier universities that offer merit aid. 
He got into three schools we couldn’t afford without any FA (one with very modest merit) and all the lower tier schools with merit aid   
One reason we allowed him to apply to the more expensive schools is because we weren’t sure what to expect wrt financial aid - turns out nothing.  
We were open with him from the outset but it was difficult to watch him at the college visits and then working on the “why I belong here” universities, knowing that he was working so hard for a ticket we might not be able to afford.  In the end he decided on the instate option and has not really looked back and I am also more sanguine about how things worked out.  Like many people here I thought he would have the same opportunities we had at his age. It is what it is.  
Maybe we should start thinking of top 30 universities the way we think about private high schools.  It never occurred to me to want my child to attend Sidwell or St Albans or GDS.  We couldn’t afford them and our high performing public school was just fine. The top private schools in the DMV provide their students with an excellent education, interesting experiences and wonderful opportunities for future advancement   However, you can’t get in unless you meet their standards and can pay their tuition.  Otoh they will make exceptions for students with hooks (legacies, talents etc).  I wonder whether when my child is planning for his own children, whether we will think of top 30 schools  in a similar way.  [/quote]

When did people quit thinking of top private colleges this way?[/quote]

The costs relative to HHI didn't use to be so high.[/quote]

The top schools were always full of wealthy families and some interlopers.  Maybe financially they were more attainable a generation ago but far, far fewer people thought to apply.

I went to a large suburban HS out west, maybe 10/500 students went to privates. It was very notable, and basically learning at the end of senior year that a few kids came from privilege. One guy went to Yale turned out his estranged father was wealthy. One guy went to CMU turned out his grandparents founded an outdoor equipment company we've all heard of.  One guy on the tennis team went to Clairmont then Stanford law, turned out he wasn't just into tennis but everyone in his family was ranked and his grandmother had played Wimbledon in the forties. One gal went to SMU, I don't know her family story, but her personal style was always out of place, 15 going on 30, too formal, so it checked. The rest of us went in-state.  The people who went private were good students, but not the very top. Our valedictorian is now an econ professor, he went in-state honors college full ride, then Caltech for grad school. Boring to recount, just completely different from how applications go out at my kid's HS today.

So genuine question, when did we all decide to bum-rush the privates? and why do we expect it to be low-cost?[/quote]

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