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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a tough thread to read - i can sense the frustration in many of the responses.  
We could not afford $80k per year (we saved enough to swing $60k per year) but still encouraged our child to apply wherever their stats might lead to a good chance of admission (sat 1560 gpa 4/4.8 etc). We did however insist that he apply in state and to several lower tier universities that offer merit aid. 
He got into three schools we couldn’t afford without any FA (one with very modest merit) and all the lower tier schools with merit aid   
One reason we allowed him to apply to the more expensive schools is because we weren’t sure what to expect wrt financial aid - turns out nothing.  
We were open with him from the outset but it was difficult to watch him at the college visits and then working on the “why I belong here” universities, knowing that he was working so hard for a ticket we might not be able to afford.  In the end he decided on the instate option and has not really looked back and I am also more sanguine about how things worked out.  Like many people here I thought he would have the same opportunities we had at his age. It is what it is.  
Maybe we should start thinking of top 30 universities the way we think about private high schools.  It never occurred to me to want my child to attend Sidwell or St Albans or GDS.  We couldn’t afford them and our high performing public school was just fine. The top private schools in the DMV provide their students with an excellent education, interesting experiences and wonderful opportunities for future advancement   However, you can’t get in unless you meet their standards and can pay their tuition.  Otoh they will make exceptions for students with hooks (legacies, talents etc).  I wonder whether when my child is planning for his own children, whether we will think of top 30 schools  in a similar way.  [/quote]

That's the point.  You cannot afford it so your child goes where you can afford but if you can save $60K per year you are not a donut family and you are pretty comfortable financially.[/quote]
We did not save $60 k per year, we spent a couple of decades saving enough so we could afford to spend $60k per year for four years  But you are correct that we are pretty comfortable and ultimately we are satisfied with the quality of education our child is receiving and he seems to be doing well. We just didn’t fully realize at the time that some opportunities would not be available to him.  Perhaps we were naive or perhaps tuition rose faster than our ability to change our expectations.  [/quote]

What opportunities?   You could have taken out loans if it was that important to you.  Lots of options.  [/quote]

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