Reply to How many women here divorced primarily due to imbalanced, unsustainable home workload?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not really getting a sense of how these marriages, especially long term ones, evolved from what originally were satisfactory relationships into intolerable ones.  All these posts are pretty much "I've been married for 10 15 or 20 years" to this guy who is useless around the house, doesn't meet my expectations, and never did.

The wives seem to be saying that not only do they place a very high priority on having a very clean and organized home and.family life.  I[b]t has to be clean and organized in a particular often idiosyncratic way. [/b] The husband is also required to share that same sense of priority.  Further, the wife's expectation seems to be that the husband must contribute exactly the same level of effort, passion and commitment as the wife determines is required.

It's almost as if all these expectations were created by attending some kind of women's study classes in college, or discussions with third wave feminists, or assumed as the default, but we're never actually discussed, much less negotiated, with their husbands at any stage of the relationships.  No, demands aren't negotiations or discussions.

Everyone is entitled to set priorities as they see fit.  However, it is unrealistic to assume your partner will have the same priorities or the same investment in fulfilling them.

Basically the job, whatever it is, belongs to the person who cares the most about it.  Getting angry that your spouse simply doesn't care as much as you think he should about living in a dirty house is not only unrealistic, it misunderstands the real issue, which in all these cases seems to be about the frustrated spouses sense of lack of ability to control her lazy spouses behaviors.  Well that's not something you are ever going to be able to do.  And you shouldn't be angry about it.  The answer to a spouse who won't clean the house isn't to get divorced, it's to clean it.yourself or hire it out.  Don't pretend you were unaware he was a slob when you married him.  You married him for other reasons and you know it.[/quote]

Can you give me an example of this you have seen on here? [/quote]

There are.msny.  In fact, please tell us from your own experience, have you ever criticized your.spouse or redid any chore he did because it didn't.meet.your particular standards?  Please.probkde your own examples.[/quote]

I asked you if you had seen it in this thread, but sure, here is an example: once I told my husband not to wash wash cloths with dryer sheets because it irritated my face. He had no problem doing it. I cannot think of another example where I asked him to do something differently, but I will say that my husband does at least his fair share of housework so maybe he just has higher standards than most men who whine about their “idiosyncratic” wives. [/quote]
What do you mean? There are.msny threads where the wife complains about the way a man does housework.  In this thread one complained he didn't.do the dishes enough, another that he didn't make the babies dinner on time, another that the toilet was.dierty and so on.  Can you read?[/quote]

DP. Is it idiosyncratic to want an adult to clean their poop out of the toilet bowl? OK then!!!

Let me explain something to you sweetheart. Taking care of a house and children takes work. Time and effort. It is not an idiosyncratic hobby. [/quote]
You didn't respond  when I asked.you how and.why you picked this guy in the first.plsce.  maybe you didn't see where I asked.you that.
Surely this guy you are with was a huge slob when you were dating him right?  Did you ever see him clean a toilet before you got married?  What about all your you
other complaints?  Let me explain something to you ma'amyou and only you picked this guy and you knew he was a.slob when you decided to have kids with him.  You are not a.victim

[/quote]

So women have no right to discuss this issue or criticize men because they are dumb sl*ts who asked for it, right?[/quote]I'm sorry, do you see anywhere that I said that in the quoted post?  You can criticize whoever you want. .But why are.yih calling these poor.womsn those.awful.misogynistic names?  [/quote]

Your “concern trolling” makes me sick. You know the PP was sarcastically calling out YOUR misogynistic postings. You aren’t fooling anyone.

You do this in other threads, I’ve noticed. Your writing “style” is quite unique, with the random periods in between words and the same misspellings. Another consistency in every thread you post in: your red-pill misogyny. Really wish you’d go away. [/quote]

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