Reply to What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do. [/quote]

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women [/quote]

Look, not every thing said on DCUM when it comes to men versus women is sexist.  Some of it is actually true.  Men remarry more quickly and more often than women in this country after divorce.  FACT.  That to me is pretty good evidence that they “rebound” more quickly.  [/quote]

ha! you don't remember  the little girl who wrote  that when she grows up she wants to be a widow? For a lot of women- unless they fall in love with a specific man, men are just a burden once they have their kids. Women have deep friendships, better relationships with their kids and generally seem to thrive more while single. I say this as a very happily married woman and I look forward to life with my husband but I'd never replace him, no-one else on this earth is worth the bother besides him.

I know a few divorced women and they are blooming and so much happier single- living their best life and it would have to be A very special man to make them get roped into having to do the groundwork of bing married again. being married means that you cant just put the rug, the lamp wherever you want, that you cant just have Tacos for breakfast and a Ferrero rocker fro dinner, that you cant go hey- this flight is cheap, I have childcare, im going to LA this weekend. You never wash any other adults laundry, or their dishes again, you never look at something lost or broken that someone else did. There is a lot of freedom in being a single mom in your 40s+, I know most women revel in that freedom and even the married women I know are kinda sick of their husbands in their 60s and just want to quit the "wifing" -being a wife is kind of annoying in a way that being a husband isn't. Thats why men get remarried ta higher rates- having a wife means someone is taking care of you, being a wife means you have to do the caring and most women are sick of that ish by the time they are that age. It isn't cute anymore- i didn't expect my husband to do a lot of stuff when we were in our 20s and 30s that I now expect him to d b/c I take care of my kids- he's an adult I don't want to clean his dirt up, its an irritant. I can imagine that as we get older my desire to take care of anyone else is going to shrink, not grow. [/quote]

I know plenty of divorced moms - from dating them - and I would hesitate to describe them as generally "so much happier single" or "living their best life" (a profoundly stupid expression). The majority of them are on anti-depressants and are in therapy. Sure, you may say "that's just the ones you are attracting" but they looked normal enough in their profiles and once you've encountered the tenth psychologically troubled older woman you have to think this is a trend not an outlier. But hey revel in your "freedom" I guess.

"You never wash any other adults laundry" - if you were a SAHM that was actually your job, but let me assure you that when I was married, I did my own laundry and the kid's laundry as well as cooking for myself. There was precious little of her "taking care of me" and I simply don't expect that from women.

"even the married women I know are kinda sick of their husbands" -- yes that is the consistent theme of DCUM Relationships, miserable peevish women complaining incessantly about their husbands. It is hard to imagine that divorce would make their husbands very unhappy, or that any other man would subsequently want to be around such a perpetually disgruntled creature.[/quote]

This thread is about dud husbands that didn’t communicate or do much in their professional life or home life to parent or help out. It’s in the title of the thread. What happens to them after divorce is the question. It’s not what happens to the women or about competent men. Start your own thread for another topic [/quote]

The response was absolutely on-topic.
The PP said that husbands are duds and divorced older women are happier without them.
The observation that divorced older women are not happier is entirely apropos.
Try to follow the argument better next time.[/quote]

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