Reply to Tell me about adoption

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a single woman who adopted an older child from the foster care system. One of the local agencies handled my adoption. My daughter moved here from out of state when she was 10 years old. Hands down, the best thing I've ever done. Hands down the HARDEST thing I've ever done. I think the hardest things have been (1) being a solo parent (2) having a kid with some special needs, which can be tough to navigate. However, I have lots of support from my friends, our therapists (we have two!), our schools, and my adoption agency. Money was a very serious concern for me, and in that way, older child adoption was great. It only cost me a few thousand dollars to adopt, and I continue to get financial support to take care of my child's health insurance and other needs. I'm listening to her sing in her room right now while she is doing homework, and those moments of knowing she's happy just fill my heart and make it so much easier to get through the tough times! My advice: Build yourself a good support system, learn to ask for help, be hella organized with all the paperwork and stuff, and be a FIERCE advocate for your kid. Older child adoption is incredible - I highly recommend![/quote]

Kudos to you. You are an example of what adoption should be about - finding a home for a child in NEED no matter their age.  Not finding a baby for people who WANT one. [/quote]

It is not bad to want a baby. It is, in fact, very normal ;especially if you understand the importance of the first year of life.

It still makes me sad that there was any part of my child’s life I did not share. That is not selfish, it is love. [/quote]

The selfish aspect is the priority of adoptive parents over birth parents. We need to shift away from the savior construction and more into the welfare of families who want to be families.  [/quote]

Yes, THANK YOU!  I think it’s absolutely nuts, for instance, that there is a tax credit for adoptions.  I can see government providing an incentive to adopt from foster care or children with disabilities, but why in earth would we incentivize people adopting healthy infants from other countries?  Healthy infants from our own?

That $ could solve a first mother’s temporary challenges that may make her feel unable to parent.  Wealthy parents who can afford private adoptions don’t need a tax credit, and there is no societal benefit in them adopting healthy infants.  They already get 100% of the befit of having their dreams fulfilled, often at the expense of a lifetime of pain for others.[/quote]

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