Reply to MIL getting up when baby cried: what would you do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a light sleeper and would be awakened easily by a crying baby down the hall. The groggy sleep of the dead isn't easy for us Olds. My H and I will sometimes have perfectly coherent conversations in the night when one of us simply turns over in bed.

So her impulse to get up and see if she can help probably seems perfectly normal to her. Try to show some compassion for aging parents if you can.[/quote]

Once AGAIN, they told her repeatedly every night that they did not need or want help and to please go back to bed.

It is not her baby. She is not the parent. Her loud-talking “help” is not required.[/quote]

I would have altered my routine such that there was as little crying as possible to avoid waking up the MIL since the "routine" obviously played out the same way every night. Screw the bathroom and diaper change, nurse the baby right away, back to sleep, then use the bathroom. Seems like everyone just kept making the same mistakes again and again and expecting a different outcome.[/quote]

Anyone who expected me to leave my baby in a soiled diaper so they don’t hear four minutes of crying is someone I can visit overnight once my child is potty trained. My goodness.[/quote]

A good mom wouldn't let the baby cry for 4 minutes in any of this. Do better.[/quote]

I don’t need to, thankfully, my parents and in laws are respectful, kind people who love their granddaughter.[/quote]

Oh, you only have one? Figures. You sounds inexperienced and new to this. [/quote]

Yup! But learning very quickly to be thankful for my parents and in-laws who would never behave like this! [/quote]

Mine aren't like that either, but the whole "it's MY baby not yours" sounds like very brand new mom speak. When you have more kids and are spread thin you become a little more grateful for the help you can get and aren't so worried about being judged for your parenting skills as a first time mom. [/quote]

Oh I’m grateful for help, when it’s help! Someone loudly disturbing my baby during her middle of the night feeding isn’t help. Doing it repeatedly for several days is downright counterproductive.  My mom and MiL are great help, which is to say they contribute actual assistance. [/quote]

The baby was already up, and wasn't being disturbed you are twisting and making up facts to support your all MILs are evil agenda.
She offered help. That is not a crime. It is also not a reason for  OP to push her or be  nasty.[/quote]

Perhaps it’s my youthful inexperience but my baby woke up once, had her diaper changed, ate and slept again peacefully. If someone or something disturbed her during that time, she took much longer to settle back down. Someone loudly talking outside the door would have disturbed her.

I don’t think MiLs are evil. Mine is great. She would also never stand outside my bedroom in the middle of the night talking loudly whether I had a baby or not. [/quote]

Wait until you have your next baby and your now toddler screams outside the baby's door. This perfect routine only exists when there is 1 baby in the house, you have to learn to be much less rigid and flexible when you have another or more. The rigidity isn't helping, especially when traveling.[/quote]

My baby travels fine thanks. She has stayed with her grandparents and she has even fussed in the middle of the night without them standing outside the door talking.  You know what was super helpful? When my mom took her in the morning after she’d nursed so I could sleep for two more hours. Bliss! And? Actual help. [/quote]

So  did your mom just magically know to do this or did you tell her what would be helpful?  If she had come to ask w if she could help would you have yelled at her and pushed her? [/quote]

OMG.

They “told her what would be helpful” before they ever came.
They told her again on the second night.
And the third night.
Rinse, repeat.

:roll:  :roll:  :roll: [/quote]

So what? Sounds like MIL was concerned.[b] How does she know if this is normal?[/b] She might have been worried the baby was getting sick, or was uncomfortable in the house and maybe it was too warm or too cold and maybe she could adjust the thermostat? They were in her house and she probably feels responsible and bad that maybe the baby is having a rough time and she wanted to know if they needed anything. It doesn't make her an evil witch trying to steal the baby away and engage in a power struggle. There are other ways to look at it which you seem incapable of doing.[/quote]

She knows it is normal BECAUSE THEY TOLD HER REPEATEDLY.

God, the MIL brigade on DCUM is astonishing.[/quote]

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