Reply to DH called our nanny hot

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let’s look at this another way.  Lots of women replying to this thread claim they are very secure in their relationships with their husband and have healthy self-esteem, so this comment wouldn’t bother them in the slightest.  Fine, that’s totally fair.  What is NOT fair is to refuse to acknowledge that not everyone is as secure in their sexual desirability to their spouse as you are (and really, we all have stuff we feel insecure about).  Feeling insecure is not some moral failing, nor is it indicative of poor character or being pathetic or any other insult some of you have hurled.  Insecurity is part of human nature just as much as sexual attraction is.

That being said, OP is clearly insecure about this comment, which indicates she is most likely inclined to feeling insecure about her relationship and/or her own attractiveness.  And do you know who should have known this about her?  HER HUSBAND.  He could maybe have stopped to think “you know, I really love Larla but I know she’s feeling down about her recent weight gain/age/whatever, so I probably shouldn’t go around commenting on how hot the nanny is, because if larla heard that she’d probably feel really down...”

Just a thought.

[/quote]

+1. Thank you for saying that. I love my DH and we have a stable loving marriage. I, however, am not secure enough in my own body image to have this type of situation in my house, which is why I would never hire a hot nanny. While office employment is another matter, I would never invite someone into my home who would cause issues. So many women on here saying it's not the nanny's fault, which is true, but it is my home and sanctuary. I need it to be a place where I can be comfortable so I'll only invite people here who I can be comfortable and at ease with. This would never come up anyway as I've never considered hiring anyone under the age of 40 or childless to take care of the kids. Just personal preference for other mothers to take care of kids. [/quote]

So you can ding a candidate because she is good looking, in your view. Would you feel the same if someone refused to hire a nanny because she is ugly? If not, and I hope not, then it all comes down to insecurities. Say whatever nonsense you want about your home being a sanctuary for your insecurities, it strikes me as pretty crappy to refuse to hire someone based on looks.

Also, I strongly suspect that the office is not a different matter for you, and that your insecurities probably intrude there, too. In fact, unless the nanny is living at your house, your DH probably spends more time with the hot secretary than a hot nanny.[/quote]

People get hired or passed over all the time for positions at all levels based on their attractiveness, to some degree.  Of course no one out right admits this but we all know it.  Let’s not pretend looks is never factored in to getting a job- or not[/quote]

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