Reply to Why don't people want to go to tj just because there are "too many" asians?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^ My White kid is also graduating from TJ this year. No legacy admissions lined up (anywhere I would want my kid to attend). Saving like heck to pay college, but still needed in state or merit.  My kid went through the Carson feeder pipeline and I used to like and defend the Asian parenting mentality.  Kids work hard, focus on education, parents are actively involved, kids stay out of trouble. It was a peer group I wanted for my own kids. I still think the kids make great peers.

But TJ opened my eyes to how racist and clannish many Asian parents are. There is a definitely a Master Race/ superior culture/ unwillingness to consider American cultural norms/ sense of academic entitlement going on with many of the that is disturbing. Like PP.

The academics at TJ are first rate. The kids are first rate.  A lot of their parents are not.  I think it has done my kid good to have the experience of being a minority. I think seeing how some of the “adults” like PP has been very eye opening to him.  I find it disgusting. I certainly am much less comfortable with Asian parents and Asian parenting than I was 4 years ago.  Then again, so are many of the Asian kids talking in the backseat of my car during carpools. [/quote]

It wasn’t very kind of you to subject your DC to this. Asia’s are unapologetically racist at TJ. [/quote]

A few points here—

I didn’t subject my kid to anything.  We allowed him to apply, which in a Carson feeder was something most kids at least considered.  And I think his attending was the right call. His social and academic needs would not have been met at a base school.  And we had a serious discussion after the first year about whether he would return.  It took a toll, and we wanted to have him really think about what he wanted the rest of high school to look like. As a parent, I had serious reservations about the stress and workload.  My child insisted on staying.   My other child didn’t apply to TJ, doesn’t need it to fit in, thrive or be challenged, and is doing great at the base school.  I don’t think TJ is the best choice for every kid, or most kids. And I think it’s a bad idea for attendance to be parent driven.

Second, I found many of the parents to be racist. But my kid didn’t go to school with the parents.  The kids are ... kids. Racism wasn’t really an issue from the kids.  And I don’t blame kids for their parents mistakes.

Finally, my kid will probably spend the rest of his life being in the majority as a white male. I love his college choice, but it is very white.  I don’t think the experience of being a minority hurt him one bit.  It broadened his horizons, and hopefully will make him more empathetic as an adult.  Plus— he realized that he could do a lot worse than us as parents.   We’re pretty strict for white parents. But relaxed by Asian parent standards.  So, he was thankful we put so much less pressure on grades (hard won Bs an be something to celebrate) and Harvard (not going) and fealty to elders.   :lol: [/quote]

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