Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]STOP saying the sister is in the dark!

Here is what OP wrote:

My wife and I decided it was best to just keep my sister out of the decision making process [b]and tell her what happened[/b]. She can volunteer what she is willing to do but I don’t think we can rely on her in the long term.

Sounds like the sister is being informed but not making decisions--burden of decision-making is correctly on the Dad.[/quote]

O.k.  on Tuesday your sister was very much a part of the decision making process but now that your wife has stepped in to help suddenly your sister is cut off from the whole process.  Are you going to at least tell her that you are handling matters with your wife now or is she just supposed to guess that?

This is the stuff that is so baffling.[/quote]

OP's dad decided to take a leave of absence from work and look into nursing homes.  This is the correct decision and makes things easier in the long run for everyone.  Unless you think every family decision should be made on a conference call, and his dad shouldn't have decided to do this without consulting his daughter, I'm not sure how you've made this a wife vs. SIL problem.  [/quote]

To phrase this as "keep my sister out of the decision making process" was just plain unnecessary.  If all dad has to do is apply for medicaid, take leave and tour nursing homes why not tell sister that?  What is the grand decision making process that the sister needs to be kept out of?

Just be nice to your sister, Op.  Your mom clearly thinks the world of her and would be so sad to hear her kids being so dismissive towards one another.[/quote]

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