Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous]On page 4 of this discussion I wrote, "I like sex. I will have sex. My wife has determined she no longer wants sex. Good for her. I don't accept her decision for the both of us. So I'll get sex elsewhere and there are so many people, men and women, in this situation that it's not hard to find."

Then I wrote on most of the next 20 pages answering every question I could, sometimes multiple times for it all to come back to my original statement.  Some of you find this to be such a complicated issue where it really is simple.  And yes, the exceptions are always pointed out.  I will acknowledge the following:
-Some wives are really saints, put out 2-3 times a week and indulge most anything sexual the H wants. But he is still a pig who felt entitled to cheat.

-Having sex with someone other than your W exposes you to a risk of STDs.

-No, I wouldn't want my hypothetical daughter to have a cheating husband.

-Yes, my moral compass is not up to your standards.  If you are denied sex and have just learned to accept that your married sex life is over, yet you don't currently cheat, you are entitled to look down on me.

-No, you are wrong.  Divorce is not the best option at this time.  You can't argue otherwise because you don't know us.  take my word for it or not.

-No, telling her is a VERY BAD idea. Telling her, ever, is a very bad idea.  And yes, I owe my AP the same discretion I expect of her.  It's an agreement among cheaters.  We don't reveal the affair.

So look, like it or not it's still sex driven.  I am driven to have sex.  Many here would say, and have said, that makes me a narcissistic, selfish, immoral, asshole.  I can deal with that as long as I'm all that and getting laid.   I'm sorry if you aren't or you don't think your spouse deserves to have the sex life they expected in marraige.[/quote]

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