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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I feel for you man.  I don't know how you do it.  I can related to a certain degree but not to the extreme.

I work from home and am mainly the go to parent most days/nights.  My DW spends long hours at work and tries to prioritize our kids as best as she can.  Our communication could be better.  I built resentment over time for a variety of different issues and we did counseling too.  Like you, some was together, some was apart (for me, not her).  I am higher drive and she is lower drive.   I don't want to step out on my marriage and my kids but I do want sex so what's a guy to do?  The options just really suck out there.

Not sure I have much for you but here's what I think...you posted this on an anonymous forum not only to gauge if you are being reasonable on your approach with your DW, you are probably looking for hope in your marriage.  You are discouraged and tired.  You want things to change but you know your DW isn't willing to do things to make things better for you in your marriage (work less, more sex, etc).  So you're making a change - spending more you time to fill that hole that is left by your DW.

The only advice I have for you, and I would be interested to know what you think, is to change your perspective on your DW.  Treat her like a queen.  Don't treat her as you think she deserves but give her what she doesn't deserve - patience, kindness, and encouragement.  Pursue her with these good things.  The difficulty will be changing your attitude and your mindset to do this.  I don't have any secrets here but if you make it a point to do it, your feelings will soon follow.  You will go from a vicious cycle to a virtuous cycle because inevitably, she will respond positively.  Maybe not as positive as you may want but something small is better than nothing at all.

I wish the best for you and hope you find the hope that you are looking for.  By the way, I would not recommend the above if I didn't do it myself.  My marriage is certainly not perfect but it's better today than it was before and that's because I took my own advice.

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