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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu. [/quote]

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it.  If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so.  Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be.  Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return.  Before one party has already fully checked out.  It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse?  See above post.

[/quote]

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex 
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house. 
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married. 
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way. 
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives. 
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat. [/quote]

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts.  Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex.  Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.[/quote]

My MIL was one of those women who continued to have sex with her immature husband. She wasn't into it but she did it out of obligation. Despite her charity, he continued to berate her in mixed company as "dingle-head" and belittle her. "Is taking out the trash too much for you? You have such a princess-y attitude." - when she asked him to take out the trash. He would sulk and pout when she didn't want to, say, go to the same restaurant he did.
He felt that there was nothing wrong with his marriage as long as she continued to submit sexually to him. A lot of 3rd world marriages are like this.

Fast forward she passed away first and he is utterly lost without her. He keeps talking about how he and his wife were like best friends. She would have begged to differ. He was willfully delulu about how she felt about the marriage. 
But I think she was of a generation that did not expect spouses to be a soul mate. They understood there were personality deficits and that is part of the marital vows. But she was also of a generation that had simpler expectations - he has to financially support her lifestyle and she is supposed to be a doll-wife.

Expectations are different today - most of which undermine the instinctual sex/security transaction.[/quote] maybe she just liked to have sex more than you do[/quote]

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