Reply to I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The nonchalant attitude so many of you have towards a highly infectious permanent condition that requires some folks to take daily medication to manage is kind of insane.

I am truly confused how some of you seem to think this is just no big deal at all. If someone gave me genital herpes because they decided their previous (not 1 but 2) positive results were unimportant would be infuriating to me. There is no way I would stay with such a person. Like How frekan dare you. [/quote]

The nonchalant attitude the rest of you have about encouraging OP to kick her baby daddy to the curb before her baby even enters the world is equally insane [/quote]

Agree. They  think  somehow OP will be a winner in this zero sum game. But- these posters  don't  have to live her upcoming life.  
Ha! What does she win?  Let's see: 
1. She leaves a guy who loves  her. And it's  clear  he does. Mistakes were  made, but he loves  her and the baby.

2. She  will have a baby that  she will have only partial custody of.

3. Boyfriend will immediately  move on and there will be step mom,  there absolutely  will, right in the inception of this baby's life,  so, yes, she is Mom, too.

4. OP will have  zero, and I mean ZERO control  over what happens when she drops off this 3 month  old, 3 years old, 10 year old, 16 year old kid to him. All medical decisions  will have to go through him. School,  church, even scouts.

5. OP will  not necessarily  move  on. She's  a single  mom now of an infant,  toddler,  kid, teenager. And we all know how that plays out on Tinder. Plus,  her backstory will  be that she left him as  he had herpes-   she will likely test positive  at some  point, because that will always be a possibility-  added bonus  points on the dating scene there, right?

6. She will  be in court  for the next 22 years working out child support , custody, college,  because   raising a kid in her own will  be more $$ than she ever thought  it will be. And she will always have to deal  with Mom # 2- you know, the one who didn't care about the  herpes at all,  and married the Dad because he wants to have a family. Millions  of  people have herpes. Millions. 
Meanwhile, she will start off  broke because  getting  a lawyer over this will be very expensive...and they aren't  even married. She thinks she will have some legal  upper hand with money or custody  over this herpes disclosure,  and I am here to say, no- she will  have nothing. It's  not a deal breaker in court  at all.

7. Boyfriend will have  more kids with new wife, and that will be baby's family. Those kids will be siblings. 
8. She will  never be able to move away from  the area, and Daddy  (and step mom) will have requests  and opinions that she doesn't like ..everything  from  school to camp to sports  to clothes,  vacations,  friends. All out of  OP's control  now. But most  woman  assume they are in control,  and are shocked  to find out how quickly they have no control  over their kid really. It'a staggeringly depressing  and  really  frightening,  so let's  add the declining  mental state to her list of developments.

She will have not won anything. She's  angry now, but let's  assume after  this revelation  she will have counseling  and make an appropriate  decision.

Don't  dive into the gene pool without a life guard, people. [/quote]
How can you say he loves her when he lied to her, infected her with an incurable disease and only came clean 4 years later? You're actually so insane for suggesting this is NBD and OP should stick by her lying diseased untrustworthy baby daddy.

All the rest of your reasons are just crap. Don't leave the liar who infected you with an incurable disease because... he may have more children? Jesus Christ your bar is beyond hell. I seriously hope that women never take this kind of advice. There is zero, I repeat ZERO reason that OP is better off staying with a lying AH who sexually assaulted her. What a shit take. [/quote]

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