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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Act 1
A happy family, one husband, one wife and three lovely children. Child A has a holiday performance on Thursday morning and needs to wear a “green Christmas sweater, blue jeans and white sneakers” per teacher instructions. Child 2 has Christmas caroling at the old people’s home on Friday and needs a red dress and plate of cookies. Child 3 is receiving an award for a speech on Friday also, and will be needing a birthday present for friend’s party that same afternoon. Wife takes care of all of these things noiselessly, on top of regular work. She also lets husband know where to be on performance and award day.
Act 2
Husband: shows up.
Act 3
Society: why do women complain about mental labor? It’s a fiction that only exists in their hysterical imaginations and they invent tasks to do because they are hysterical.

Curtain. [/quote]

Some data for you OP

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-myth-of-the-lazy-father[/quote]

That’s Bs methodology. The work addict dad who avoids family responsibilities gets to count his 40-70 hours a week hiding out at the office, home office and iPhone as “household help?”

Yeah, we all know what that means. And what would happen if both parents behaved like that. [/quote]

Right?  
I mean, the fact that men spend more time at work and less time doing childcare is the exact issue.  
It’s kind of upsetting that the author of this article doesn’t seem to get it.[/quote]

If he's making more money for the family then it's time well spent. Making less money to have more time to make cookies for the old folks is a bad tradeoff and doesn't help the family.[/quote]

Why is that a bad trade off? 
As long as we have enough money for the things we need and a lot of the things we want, then why is it so awful for a man to bake cookies with his daughter instead of making more money?   [/quote]

If you want an underemployed man who has lots of free time to make dr appointments and cookies, then have at it. I'm sure those types of men are a dime a dozen but I wouldn't know because I wouldn't be interested. But very few well paying jobs offer lots of flexibility and free time for the nonsense schools push on parents.[/quote]

If you read the linked article, you will see that these men are not a dime a dozen, and in fact they don’t exist at all.  Underemployed men don’t tend to spend their time doing things for their families.

Since you seem to be part of the problem here, saying that you would never date a man who is “underemployed” and seem to think that men have no value to their families outside of paid work, I would just like to hear your reasoning.  
[/quote]

If the guy won't help around the house then he better be making a lot of of money to pick up the slack and afford outsourcing. IF your husband doesn't make much money and also doesn't help, then you have a bad picker and should have aimed higher.[/quote]

Exactly.

Let him be a deadweight tag along.[/quote]

To be clear, the guy making loads of money is the deadweight? Or the underemployed husband who doesn't help?[/quote]

They are both deadweights within the household. The former is too lazy and selfish to spend time knowing his family members or self-direct the money towards correct resources, and the latter is a selfish leech. [/quote]

So the guy funding the whole thing is deadweight? Interesting definition. [/quote]

Yes he’s ignorant, neglectful, and uninvolved with his spouse and kids’ lives. That’s a deadweight. He probably makes messes and careless mishaps at home as well. [/quote]

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