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Reply to "Are upper middle class family gatherings now just luxury travel pissing contests?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My family will skimp on clothes (no brand names), our furniture is from IKEA, we drive economy cars, but we love to travel. Our main hobbies are scuba diving, hiking and mountain biking. So yes, we will "brag" and so do our friends. I don't understand homebodies, one can see the world on any budget.[/quote] Not any budget. Many people can barely afford to eat every day much less ever own a car and say they skimp by driving economy cars. I get your point even though your hobbies are somewhat expensive, but there are people that turn these activities into reflections that are tone deaf. Like the mom I met who said she appreciated the happiness of poor people and loveliness of being around animals after doing her 3rd safari tour staying in luxurious accommodations and being led by a guide.[/quote] Why all the shaming? So the mom can travel to her 3rd safari, so what? Why is everyone so offended all of a sudden? Did she steal her travel money? Or she should've not gone anywhere and "could've helped the less fortunate"? Oh and "many people can barefly afford to eat every day"...no offense, but there are a lot of programs to feed the hungry. I regularly donate to our local food back and you should hear the stories about how picky some people are. There are free lunches at schools for those who qualify too. Yes, my hobbies are expensive, I like them, I pay for them, I don't borrow or whine or b*** about how expensive things are. I'd rather travel the world than sit on my ass whining. [/quote] It's not that. It's pretending you are very thrifty when you are only thrifty about some things and make up for it with luxury on others. You are discriminating with money, not thrifty just because you don't buy luxury everything. It's pretending that the people who greet you on Safari are happy being poor when it's literally their job to be happy and welcoming and likely they could be struggling a lot. It's romanticizing poverty and acting like you understand the people just because you met some of them at a tourist destination. You sound tone deaf on the affordability of America and the world and not someone who can understand why not everyone can afford a trip if they just save a little bit buy not buying luxury for everything. [/quote] Ugh. So I should give up my "wants" to make you or the "rest of the world" feel better about themselves? So let's stop travel. Altogether. Let's make sure countries who live off hospitality industry don't make a dime off "the rich and spoiled and tone deaf" Americans or Europeans. By the way, how much are you donating to the poor? How are you fixing poverty? Don't be shy, it is an anonymous forum after all. [/quote] Do you really think people believe you are counting change when you go on these exotic trips just because you don't buy a luxury car? Just own up that these are luxury items and have some understanding that not everyone can afford these or thinks you are special because you went on these trips. If you think you are more worldly than other family members just because you met some person on a mountain biking trip across the world that you could have just met at the metro here than that is being pretentious. I'm sure the people who like mountain biking find these trips much more interesting than the people who like other activities. You gained intelligence in mountain biking more than into other cultures. Gauge the room is all. You are probably just as bored at listening to the person who stayed here and did a staycation in DC as they are of your mountain biking trip in the alps. There is only so much that is relatable and that either party wants to hear. [/quote] Yes, let's all sit quietly at the dinner table because someone will get offended that I went on a trip or that a cousin bought a car or that a nephew got into college. Let's all be quiet.[/quote] Yup---I don't attend gatherings where I cannot be myself. I'm excited to hear about someone's trip or college or anything that is important to them. [/quote] You are guaranteed someone will be offended by something. Your kid getting into college, you getting a promotion, your family taking a trip. It forces self-conscious people to lie about things which, of course, tend to come out later. DH has a sibling whose family is always going through stuff, mostly financial, and they cannot handle if we are doing anything "fun" in their minds. We eventually stopped sharing anything with them because they would take offense. "You went WHERE? You saw WHAT? Well, we can't afford XYZ" and always with that "how dare you do things with your family while we are suffering". They started finding out about stuff much much later than everyonr else because they would also leave us comments on social media. And before anyone says "well, why can't you help the brother out?", we did on many occasions, it went nowhere, money down the drain.[/quote] I posted before that I travel a lot. We know many different groups of people. We obviously would not talk about all the fortunes we have around people who are struggling financially. It sounds like OP isn’t as well off. Travel has gotten very expensive. Even a crappy hotel in ocean city will cost you $500 per night. A trip to Europe that may have been 2-3k before Covid may cost 10-20k now. This is now becoming unattainable for many so it may seem like bragging. I know someone above mentioned 1k per night hotel rooms as high end. During peak times, those high end hotels are now 3-4k PER Night. We now need 2 rooms and often spend 4k per night. It does sound ridiculous. I wish they were still 1k per night. When we are around other UMC/UC people, travel is a very safe topic of conversation. I’m sure many people will mention where they are going for winter break at holiday parties. Better to talk about that than trump.[/quote] [i]If you can't deal with my obnoxious bragging, name-dropping, and wanderlust you are just poor and envious.[/i][/quote] Poor is relative. We have a seven figure income and spend 100k+ on travel per year. Our kids go to private school. We have nice cars, nice vacation home, nice primary residence, etc. I think most people know we are well off. Most people we know are also well off. Our “poor” friends make 200-300k. Most people we know can do whatever they want, like us.[/quote] Oh hi, 15,000sqft primary residence lady. [/quote] I’m not clear what point she is making or who she is arguing with.[/quote]
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