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[quote=Anonymous]Tell. Always tell.

I wish to god someone had told me early on in the affair.  Finding out several years later is just brutal.  Cruel.  It colors every photo and every event you had with your family and kids during those years.  And you are constantly reimagining things and trying to figure out what was real.

It’s cruel not tell, no matter how painful the truth is- it’s the truth. You then have the facts.

As another poster pointed out, some cheaters are secretly funneling $ and having the spouse make decisions based on a false future—one the cheater knows will end in divorce when the kids hit college, but is pretending to 100% be in the marriage for the long haul.  The betrayed can then protect themselves from this and often can get out of paying alimony. Some poor suckers never know and they feel guilty and buy the manipulative cheater’s story that it was all their fault for not taking them out often enough or whatever “we grew apart” bs they’ll sling while omitting “Iv’e been banging other men the past 10 years”. While they get out with a phony reputation as the “wronged party”. [/quote]

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