Reply to How to get through to DH that doing 80% doesn't count?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I see you. I literally call my husband Mr. 80%. It’s infuriating. He’ll empty the dishwasher and when he hits 80% it’s like he decides that’s enough - and then just leaves the rest. Projects all done to 80%. He changed the door handles on our front door and left everything out all over the foyer. It’s been two months and he still hasn’t touched up the paint. Ceiling fan replacement- same. He literally can’t complete something.

Ironically he’s all over his laundry but that’s because it only affects him! (When we first moved in together he wanted to combine laundry and I said no way in hell, I see where that’s going). [/quote]

Weird.  When my husband does a home improvement project (changing light fixtures, door handles, cabinets, painting, etc.) I feel like the least I can do is clean up the work area when he’s done.  Let him have a well-earned break rather than being annoyed at him for doing something productive that benefits our family.[/quote]

That could be one way of looking at it. But it doesn’t seem to flow in my direction when I do something that benefits the family, like cooking, pool maintenance, trash bins, general home maintenance. With cooking I still do the clean up bc I got so annoyed that - you got it - only 80% would get done. He literally just leaves stuff behind. So I am responsible for my stuff, which is daily for the most part, and he’s responsible for his stuff, which is not daily. Oh, and the examples I used I asked that they not be done, they weren’t necessary. He switched out a perfectly functional ceiling fan bc “everyone knows” you have to have one with remote control.

And bf you calling me some shrew, I take a lot of pleasure in taking care of my husband. This is an observation of his behavior, not an indictment of him nor a suggestion that he doesn’t care about me. It’s the 80% observation that is just weird to me. And yeah, it’s annoying![/quote]

You’re just biased.  It would be interesting to read a list of the tasks that your husband thinks you don’t finish, don’t do correctly, or don’t do well.  But we won’t, because he’s not wasting his time and energy complaining about his life partner to strangers on the internet.

[b](Serious question: do you honestly prefer to do 100% of the dishes rather than 20%?  This just seems illogical to me.)[/b][/quote]

DP here. It's illogical to only do 80% of the dishes! Are the dishes going to magically take care of themselves? I'm responding because my DH did exactly the same thing the other day. That's just showing that the person thinks the dishes are not really their job, and they're just "helping". [/quote]

The person who does 100% of the dishes recognizes the importance of the task.

The person who does 80% of the dishes assumes that it is not important enough to do it in its entirety (because the spouse will pick up the slack), [b]which evidences a lack of caring and respect for the spouse[/b].[/quote]

Not necessarily. I can see why you're so unhappy though. You are taking your husband's efforts at a task, which he deems sufficient, as some sort of attack on you. It's fine to feel that disrespected, but have you actually told him that you feel that way? I'm a woman, but when I leave laundry in the dryer overnight instead of folding it, it's not because I'm being disrespectful to my husband. Now, if he told me that he felt disrespected when I did that, I would change something because I don't want him to feel like that. But to assume that's why your husband is doing that and that he knows it? Come on. [/quote]

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