Reply to Expats

Forum Index » Entertainment and Pop Culture

Reply to "Expats "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think one factor for Margaret that I think is not really explored well in the show but is a subtext, is that losing Gus results in a total identity crisis for her that was already sort of happening but crashes down on her with his abduction.

She talks about being sort of a reluctant SAHM because she can't really do her job in Hong Kong. So she kind of leans into this kind of crunchy, maternal role. But then she feels threatened by Essie when Gus and the other kids love her so much. So it's like her professional identity is taken from her by the move to HK, and then she feels like her maternal identity is taken away by Essie.

And then Gus goes missing on her watch (yes, I guess on Mercy's watch, but Mercy barely knew any of them at that point). So now she kind of takes on this mantle of "bad mom" and can't escape it because if she keeps looking for Gus and stays in HK, she's neglecting her other kids. But if she leaves HK to care for her other kids, she's abandoning Gus.

[b]I don't know. I really felt for her in the final episode. I don't necessarily approve of all her choices but I feel like that's beside the point. I truly have no idea what I'd do in her shoes. It's an impossible situation[/b].[/quote]
I'm the pp who said she was abandoning her living children, but I also dont disagree with this. I said in my post on the previous page that I cannot imagine this type of pain. It's so beyond anything Ive ever experienced, it would be such a difficult decision. But I think you can be making a decision for one children that still abandons the others. I think thats also why she wanted Esse there, and to give the other kids the best shot at a successful life - back home, not surrounded by loss. She didnt make that same choice for herself. Yet, at least. [/quote]

PP here and I get it. You know what it made me think of was my own mom. Totally different situation but same feeling. My mom was not a good mom. She harmed us in more ways than she helped us. I had a tough childhood an still struggle sometimes because of just never having been mothered properly. I actually wish I'd had an Essie in my life who could have done that (and actually it's funny this is just occurring to in this moment by my parents were expats for a number of years when I was really young and I did have Essie-type figures in my life, but not once we moved back to the US).

But as I've gotten older, even though I still look at what my mom did and have resentment and anger about it, I also understand more about her own life. Her own mother died very young from either alcoholism or suicide (or suicide by alcohol, it's never been clear to me). She was abused and neglected her entire childhood. Then she had children very young and became a trailing spouse to a not very attentive or loving husband. I think she had so many children (4) in part because she was lonely and wanted company. All of that sucked for us and she has accountability for it, but also I can't imagine being in her situation -- young and motherless with a bunch of small children on the other side of the world where she didn't speak the language and her husband was never around and she's "running" a household of servants she can barely communicate with and who know more about childcare and cooking and cleaning than she ever will. It must have been really hard.

I feel sad for her and I also sometimes dislike the choices she made. I feel similar about Margaret. But I don't really judge because I don't know what I'd do in that exact situation. Maybe the same thing. Not saying Margaret (or my mom) are not accountable for their own actions -- of course they are. But I'm inclined to be open minded because I don't think any of really knows how we'd handle these situations unless we were in them.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics