Reply to Women whose partner's make enough for them to stay home, why do you prefer working?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven't read the many pages of replies, but my DH is in biglaw and I'm an academic. I get a different type of joy out of the intellectual stimulation my work provides than being around my family. Not more, but complementary. I am a better mom and wife after a day of interacting with my students and collaborators. Admittedly I also take comfort in knowing I could support myself if I ever had to. We outsource plenty and have local involved grandparents, which also makes a big difference, and my schedule at this point in my career is very flexible.[/quote]

I could have written this. I'm also an academic, DH is a biglaw partner who pulls in close to $3M/year. We have a pretty low-key lifestyle and don't need my income. I'm not necessarily a better mom with regard to day-to-day stuff with my career, but I definitely feel like I am a good example to my girls. What's kept me in the work force are 1) feeling an obligation to the next generation of college students - imagine the message higher ed would send if the only professors on campus were men and dads, as if only men were intellectually capable of generating knowledge; 2) not wanting to throw away the rare benefits of tenure; and 3) feeling satisfaction with my work and joy in my colleagues. 
As my girls get older, they have become really proud of me and are impressed that I've written books, which is a nice bonus. I also think that having girls has made my DH far more thoughtful about being an equal parent; he doesn't want a home situation where the girls are raised to believe that their most important job is to support their husband's career.
I think that mothering work is meaningful, but doesn't necessarily require a fancy college degree to do well. Along those lines, I also believe that people who have had the tremendous privilege of a great education, which is a societal good only made possible by the generosity of the larger community, should use it to better the world beyond one's immediate family and friends. I confess that when I meet well-educated moms who never re-entered the work force even after the kids were in middle school, I feel kind of bad for them. [/quote]
Love all of this. What a great example you're setting for your children and your students![/quote]

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