Reply to If women could go back in time

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose[/quote]

[b]You realize that when a woman stays home her partner has to work longer hours to support her lifestyle, right? [/b]By your own logic, partners to a SAHM don't see their children grow up either and yet I never see anyone asking similar questions to men as if their time with children doesn't seem to be equally important.

I also think you've got a rosy view of the past. Even though most women stayed home they didn't live like wealthy housewives do today because most of them were married or average earning men who had to work very long hours while the wife did manual unpaid labor at home and did not have much quality time for her children. I'd be a working woman today a d share childcare with my husband.[/quote]

DP but the bolded is not a factual statement.[/quote]

It's still a relevant statement. If a woman who works doesn't see her children, neither does a man who works, so why questions like this are only directed to women?[/quote]

Men are not working different/longer hours whether their wives stay at home with the kids or not. It's a stupid argument. Men get to spend exactly the amount of hour with their kids that they want to. They have choices that women do not.[/quote]

If a woman is earning a good income, then the husband has more of a choice to take a job with more flexibility that may have lower pay. Of course he may not choose to do that, but with the wife working it’s more of an option.[/quote]

The point is that he almost never chooses to do that.[/quote]

Women could also choose not to reduce their hours. And in my experience that forces men to step up as fathers. Many men don't make those choices because they are used to see women picking up their slack.[/quote]

This argument is the problem. Men don’t naturally want to pick up more childcare. Women do. Why? Because women aren’t the same as men. [/quote]

You're certainly speaking for me. My DH would say he'd love to work fewer hours and have more childcare in his life,  but he doesn't have the ability to prioritize, multitask, or put a child's feelings and physical needs above his own. He would be pleased to spend less time on his professional life, yes... but he doesn't have the skills or inclination to be a primary caregiver.

How much does my experience with him translate to other fathers, I don’t know. [/quote]

Men don't lack the ability to put child's needs above their own, they just can afford not to do it because they're used to a mother and a wife who did and will do this for them. I personally find it horrorifying that this man is still your husband and that you see this as normal.[/quote]

It's easier to blame nature than to admitting that your husband is crappy and that you're a sucker.[/quote] I don’t think it’s the wives who don’t have a problem admitting the husband is crappy. 
It’s the ignorant and delusional husbands who can’t or don’t.[/quote]

Some women here are blaming that incompetence to nature, as if they needed to believe irresponsibility around the household is an immutable trait nobody can do anything about.[/quote]

Nope, never saw that Nature excuse used here or IRL. The guy is an a-hole and also ignorant (ungrateful) and delusional (thinks he’s great). [/quote]

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