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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are plenty of places in the DC area which are middle class and not competitive UMC environments OP.

[b]You can choose to live in a super competitive school district or go to an expensive private school, or you can live in a less expensive area with decent mid tier public schools[/b], even in the DC area. The choice is yours OP.[/quote]

Not OP, but again, I completely reject this. We moved out to Loudoun County, to a diverse area with middling public schools. Our MS/HS hover around a 4 on Great Schools. While this did maybe result in less academic competition (in numbers of kids, the competitive kids are still competitive), there is still tremendous financial competition. My husband and I call it the "arms race" and its definitely contagious. Some people cannot stand when others have something better than they do and must immediately remedy the situation. Tons of fancy 60-70k SUVs (the latest trend seems to be a fully loaded Tahoe), $100k kitchens, second homes, new cars for teenagers, expensive name brand clothing and shoes (most teens are wearing a sneaker that costs $150+) etc. You would have to be blind or oblivious not to notice. A friend of mine recently told me she no longer wants to host at her home because she is embarrassed that her kitchen is old and not remodeled. [/quote]

I'm pretty sure Loudon county is the richest county in Virginia, or actually the entire country. So not only do you live in the middle of nowhere, but you have crappy schools and you didn't remotely escape that striver mindset. [/quote]

I’m not going to bother explaining statistics to you, but highest median household income does not equal net worth or even mean/average household income. Most of the families doing all this striving are barely breaking $300k. They are just terrible with money and value superficial things. [/quote]

Ok? What's your point? I understand statistics, thanks. The point is that the person saying they moved to Loudon County and are then shocked that they're surrounded by strivers missed the memo that that's exactly the kind of person who lives in Loudon County. [/quote]

I’m that poster and Loudoun County is not a monolith. My kids high school has 40% of students on free and reduced lunch. Saying the medical HHI in Loudoun is over $100k doesn’t mean every (or even most) families in Loudoun are UMC. [/quote]

And yet you're surrounded by people driving six-figure SUVs. Ok. [/quote]

LA and NYC also has plenty of poverty.

Places outside of DC seem more focused on beauty. Or DC is just an unattractive city. Lots of well educated unattractive people.[/quote]

Lots of well-educated, unattractive people with no fashion sense who can't wait to tell you about how well-educated they are... who also think they are making great sacrifices to "help government" while raking in 300k, or, more often, quietly drawing from a family trust and making 150k but having a complex about it because their sister/brother/identical twin is a neurosurgeon in LA/food stylist in NYC and has a much cooler life. [/quote]
What’s with the fixation on people not being attractive or having fashion sense (which I don’t even think it’s true??)? Like you would come off as a lot less insecure if you had valid criticisms of DC without resorting to attacking people’s looks. It just screams of insecurity and bitterness which are traits you ironically accuse the uglies of…[/quote]

Not the pp. I am from NYC and people are more attractive in NYC. They dress better and better put together. I used to live and work in Manhattan. Even though I was not especially into fashion, I had retail flagships with their newest and hottest merchandise on display for the world to see. I would buy this and dress stylish. DC isn’t a fashion hub. As pp pointed out, most jobs in dc are relatively boring, especially feds. [/quote]

So you aren’t friends with people who aren’t fashionable enough for you? [/quote]

I have now lived in DC for over a decade. I’m absolutely no longer fashionable. My friends in dc are mostly not fashionable either. I don’t choose my friends based on how they look. We wear vineyard vines, lily Pulitzer, lululemon, athleta and Patagonia. I walk around in uggs. None of these are fashionable. I was never brand specific in my shopping in nyc or when I shopped in other cities and countries. I loved boutiques and designers I never heard of before. [/quote]

Is there a point in there somewhere?[/quote]

DC is less fashionable than NYC and is less attractive than NYC.

After living in an area, it is only natural for people to blend in with their environment. OP is referring to UMC neighborhoods. My kids fit in and thrive in our UMC/UC neighborhood. None of us are very fashionable, just like our peers.[/quote]

So? No one is saying Lululemon or Ugg is fashionable. We are saying it’s popular with teens and there is pressure on kids to have the expensive brands. [/quote]

We have a seven figure HHI and don’t think uggs are expensive. My kids don’t feel pressure to have expensive brands.

I may think a teen wearing a $3k moncler coat might be a bit much but $100 leggings seem fine to me. Buy your kid some Lululemon leggings. Sheesh.[/quote]

Way to miss the point. [/quote]

No. She does not miss the point.

If you make over 1mil a year and are unhappy about kids wearing/ expecting $100 leggings, you are going to be unhappy anywhere because unhappiness comes from within you.

If you make 300k like my household, and can't keep up with your neighbors who make over 1 mil, move a little further out. Don't expect your neighbors who make over 1mil to act like they make 300k so your kids can feel better. Imagine you, a grown adult expecting this and complaining about kids' expectations.

There are educated smart people who don’t make 1 mil a year. Find a neighborhood with those and move. My neighbors include surgeons, PHD scientists, lawyers, psychologists,  etc. Our HHI range from 250 - 600k, and our kids don't wear $100 leggings because we cannot afford them.

If we could afford those leggings, we would not care that the kids expected them, not because we think they are cheap, but because its not a big issue in the grand scheme of things. Life is short too short to make up problems. 
[/quote]

You both miss the point. We make $300k (closer to 400 actually) and live around others also probably making similar. We can “afford” $120 leggings but it’s just a stupid thing to spend on for a growing child and I hate that the other people here also making $300k have decided to be so wasteful with their money in some attempt to make their kids “cool.” I hate that making their kid cool is their main goal in parenting. It’s toxic. [/quote]

How do you even know what the $120 leggings look like? They all look exactly the same to me. [/quote]

Because they have a little teeny logo on the leg.

My older loves fashion, real fashion, and we have a great time finding things, hanging out.  She likes learning about the various designers and the histories of earlier designers.   So I was disappointed when my 12 year old was exact opposite and asked me for what everyone was wearing in her sixth grade.

I bought her some Lululemon hoodies but refused to buy leggings because they are garbage. The hoodies were fine and same quality as similar priced hoodies and I explained to her that we will find leggings that are high quality and worth the money.

And then next she mentioned the dreaded Uggs.  They are so ugly that I refuse to buy them.  I got the See by Chloe shearling leather ankle boots instead.   Much better value and the heels don’t crush and look awful.

I can’t believe this is turning in a clothing post.  This happens in every community where there’s some brand name that all the teens want.  I don’t think it’s about competitive communities.

[/quote]

You have narcissistic tendencies and are a bad mom. My mother did to me exactly what you’re doing to your daughter, thinking you’re somehow better than trendy fashion and showing everyone your superiority by refusing to just buy the popular brands. You are making your daughter suffer socially. I got made fun of mercilessly in middle school because my mother refused to buy anything trendy on principle like you. It is so selfish and stupid. If you can’t afford things that’s totally different. But that’s not what you’re doing.[/quote]
Again I think kids nowadays are not making fun of other kids for not having trendy stuff.  The preppy/popular kids are into trendy stuff but that they not making fun of kids in the hallway for not wearing Lululemon.  Maybe the dynamic is different *within* the popular group? But honestly I wouldn't want my kids to be part of any group that is dissing kids for their clothes. You sound like you need to work on some stuff.  I was made fun for different things growing up but I am not going to let that guide my parenting. 
[/quote]

I have 3 in HS and MS (with varying degrees of “popularity”) and agree with this.  I haven’t heard any of them discussing other kids’ clothing etc in a negative way unless it something totally crazy and purposely attention seeking. Certainly nothing about brands etc. unless it is in a positive way. One of my kids is super popular and it doesn’t seem to be any different in her circle than in her sibling’s (not so popular) circle. It may be different at other schools- ours is a large UMC suburban public. [/quote]

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