Reply to Millennials feel 'abandoned' by parents not available to help raise grandkids: 'Too busy'

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This just so does not resonate for me.  All the boomer grandparents I know would loose to spend more time with their grandkids.  My neighbor has offered to watch her granddaughter as many days as possible but the mom thinks it’s better for the child to have consistency in childcare (which is fine).  I know lots of millennials who want to limit the grandparents time or really control how/when etc.  My sister who is a boomer flies to her kids houses all the time to help out if one parent is traveling or they want to take a kid free vacation.
I do wonder if people are making it really hard for their parents to care for the kids by putting a ton of restrictions on it.  My grandmother watched me almost daily.  Did she do it the way my mom would have wanted?  Probably not.  I are a LOT of pudding and she let me watch some questionable TV.  But it was fine.  You have to be a little flexible and not treat your parents like employees.  I definitely see some millennials who would rather pay someone they can micromanage than let their parents have some leeway.  My approach is to set out some basic safety standards (careers, sleeping on back, etc.). But otherwise let it go. [/quote]

THIS! Barely boomer Grandma here, 59. We do watch and spend time with our grandchildren often because we love, enjoy and want to have relationships with them. Our daughter is a SAHM w/ a PHD, which is FINE but stop complaining about money. SIL has very flexible schedule so he can be present almost as much. We help out but there are so many rules and requirements. The more kids they have, the more rules they come up with. We can't have on the news, all programs must be pre-approved (I got in trouble for looney toons) Don't get me started on the food restrictions. I cook healthy but the older kids are constantly reading labels on everything. They don't like kids around certain family members for stupid reasons and seem to want to approve all of our friends (from comments the kids have made). Not everyone can be exactly like them or have the exact same beliefs. This is life. Let us be the Grandparents, love your kids and keep them happy and alive like we did you. You would have even more help if you would let it be organic and easier for us. [/quote]

That is awful! I’m the millennial parent of young kids and I always tell my parents to do whatever to get by when they watch my kids! (Not regular childcare). [/quote]

My sister had a long list of rules when the grandparents watched her kids. I had none. And she wondered why the grandparents watched hers less and less over time. [/quote]

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