Reply to Is this a common feeling in your early 40s? Feels like friends are getting rich and we're stagnant

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I think it is common to feel this way in your 40s. A lot of decisions are playing out. People who got on the NE DC property ladder early are now able to cash out. People who had kids younger are through daycare for their youngest. Student loans are wrapping up, and people are leveling up their jobs. [b]But people who didn't buy a home, had kids later, and weren't as financially focused in their late 20s and early 30s are suddenly waking up to the long-term consequences.[/b] It's hard and awkward.[/quote]

I'm one decade further out now (early 50s) and I have a different view now.  I would consider myself somewhat in this latter camp--I wandered around in my 20s,had my kids and bought a house in my mid to late 30s and really didn't fully hit my career stride until my 40s.  But I wouldn't change it for the world.  I had a lot of varied, interesting experiences--made a lot of friends that I still have distributed around the world.  I feel like these experiences fuel my mental life and I see in my aging parents how important memories and connections from their early lives are to them.

I went to a fairly elite school and I have plenty of friends who were on a much more quickly upwardly mobile track than me.  They settled down and bought houses and had families when I was still wandering.  I did have a moment in my early 40s when I was bogged down with work, still paying for daycare when many of my group of friends  seemed to all be traveling the world, entertaining and I felt like I was now this drudge, spending all my money on daycare, mortgage and 401ks and no time to myself. But at 50 now I've got more time with teenaged kids, smooth career, things are going well--finances are great, we travel together doing interesting things and that these folks are richer than me doesn't seem to matter in the least--I've got more than enough for what I want.  Some of those friends have drifted apart, some are still close, I've made new ones etc.  Quite a few of the "settled down early" folks are getting divorced in their 50s now that their kids are grown and that has brought them back more into my daily life--they are looking to reconnect with old ties as they rebuild their lives.  [/quote]

[b]Sorry if you are early 50s,[/b] housing was way cheaper when you decided to “grow up”. There has been a shift in the cost of housing (and education) that has crushed subsequent generations in a way that “wandering” is life altering in a bad way, unless you come from family wealth. [/quote]

I could see saying that to someone in their 80s. Someone who is 52 now was house shopping around 2005.

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Really? 34 is when they bought their first home as professionals in DC?

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34 was when we rolled the 1st house equity into the second home. Then refinanced to 15 yr loan and paid off 2nd home 5 yrs early. Also Picked up a beach place along the way. [/quote]

We did the exactly same thing on the same schedule.[/quote]

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