Reply to I cannot believe there are still people out there spanking their children...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think spankers are defensive because they have had to tell themselves it's 'necessary' and 'different from hitting/ abuse' because otherwise most of them probably wouldn't do it. And then you'd be left with having to figure out other approaches. 
But where a chain on time outs, cry it out etc would have engagement centered around is that or is that not abusive (and quite a good debate to be had), it's different in that most of us are saying there is no 'gray area' with spanking. You are hitting a kid, so it's not really 'up for debate' as to whether that is ok, in our eyes. [/quote]

+1. I agree with this. My own experience is that, before kids, I thought I'd probably spank my own if necessary. I hadn't given the matter a great deal of thought, but my parents had spanked me. My wife, however, was firmly against it. She had a lot of childhood development knowledge, having studied to be and then having been employed as a teacher. She also resented her own parents' overuse of spanking. So we did it her way. I came to recognize that other approaches (timeouts, etc.) were very effective with my kids even if they sometimes required a fair amount of patience and required me to disregard my own annoyance and frustration as we gave those approaches time to work.

On top of that, the people I saw who spanked their kids tended to be pretty bad with their own emotional regulation. The types of people who got mad at others more often and couldn't or didn't bother to control their expression of that anger. That's anecdotal, of course, but it reinforced my happiness that my wife led the way on effective discipline for our kids.[/quote]

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